The insane rantings of the sanest person on Earth

AN open letter to Senator Ted Stevens

2006-06-30T21:10:16Z

At this point, most of you know that I've got a job being an assistant network admin over at this private college. As such, I feel pretty confident that I know a few things about technology. (Since I haven't, you know, been canned yet.) You can disagree if you want, but the point is that I am obviously far, far more knowledgeable on the subject than say... The Esteemed Senator Ted Stevens. Normally I would laugh, hysterically laugh, and then cry at the stupidity clearly on display here, but since this is *my* senator talking I feel compelled by a greater force to go through this damn thing point by point and address it in the mad, mad hope that he'll actually read it and learn something. Hold me. This will get ugly.

"Now--we have consumers who use this internet, and we have commercial users who use this internet."

This, at the outset, basically makes no sense at all, and you have to listen later in the clip to figure out what he's talking about. What he should have said is that there are people who are using the internet for low-bandwidth activities like web browsing, email, and instnat messenger activities, and then there are those who are using it for more intensive things like movie downloading. The current phrase is wrong in a number of respects that I won't get into, but the point is that the number of what he calls "commercial users" is small--very, very, very small. If I understand him right, he's talking about people who are buying movies and downloading them over the internet. (I say movies because he does; obviously, well, obviously to anyone with a working brain, it's not just about movies but also podcasts, music, etc.; movies just get picked on because of the large filesizes.) Due to a number of factors, however, the number of people buying movies and then downloading it is in fact very, very small. Almost all of the high-bandwidth trafic is in fact, free trafic. I'll expound on that later.

"(a quote from the Tribune) Most of the companies who oppose net neutrality do so because they feel that the speed and capabilities of the internet are being improved on their backs."

So don't improve it then, and watch Google roll out free wireless for everyone. (I think it's a ridiculous possibility, myself, but I'm saying it because everyone else is.) I have zero sympathy for ISPs who don't wannt to roll out fiber because it's too expensive. They're already giving us ridiculously high prices on bandwidth (Well, GCI is at any rate), so yes, they can afford the goddamn fiberoptics. That's the beauty of Capitalism--if you don't want to do it, someone else will, and then make loads of money because they're the only one doing it so people have to use them to get their highspeed. Don't like it? Try and make a better network. The system works.

"There's one company, you can sign up and have a movie delivered to your house. Daily. [...] But you pay for that, right? That service is now gonna go through the internet, and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and order your movie and guess what, you can order ten of 'em, they're delivered to you, and the delivery charge is free. Right?"

Wrong. I'm assuming that he's talking about Netflics here, and if I'm wrong than it really doesn't matter because that's not the issue. You in fact do pay for "shipping". Every month you pay for shipping, in the form of the monthly subscription that you already pay to your ISP for ot access the internet. The internet is not already free, you dumbasses. You pay the ISP (too much, I reiterate) to get access to the internet that the traffic is delivered on. If you want your trafic delivered to you faster, you pay a higher price for faster internet service. It's a DIFFERENT business model, sure, but the business model EXISTS, and exists just fine thankyouverymuch.

"[an email] was sent by my staff at 10:00 in the morning on Friday, I got it [Tuesday?]! Why? Because it got tangled up with all of these other things that are going on over hte internet commercially!"

What I think his point is, if I can translate it from bumbling moron into English, is that emails are more important than movies so they should be given higher priority. Which is great, only throttling bit torrent won't make your email go any faster you freaking stupid monkey. The only emails that get slowed down are freemails like hotmail and yahoo, and that is because of the massive amount of people who use their servers to send mail all the time. If you want your email sent faster, get a better email address, jackass. Gmail is free, and there are plenty of paid email hosting services that move plenty fast. Yeah, paying extra for priority email, what an amazing concept that I just totally came up with two seconds ago oh wait no I didn't it's the way the internet has worked for ten years you RETARD!

"The people who support [net nutrality] are the people who want to use the internet for the end use of their profit, not the consumer."

Aaaah. And finally the crystalized view of his argument becomes clear to me, the shimmering cold lake on the horizon of the baron, featureless wasteland that represents the esteemed Senator Ted Stevens's intelligence. What he's saying is that content providers are making money off of the content that they are providing, without paying the ISP for the service of providing this content to the customers on that ISP. Meanwhile consumers--who don't need to use the internet for high bandwidth activities--are being disadvantaged because these evil corporationsTM are hogging all the bandwidth. It's a very well-worded argument that I have just extracted out of the almost-incoherent rambling of the esteemed Senator Ted Stevens; it is therefore a shame that it is completely wrong in almost every respect. Allow me to express this disappointment, in the form of heavy bricks. To your face. *WHAM!* *WHAM!* *WHAM!*
As I said above, you already pay ISPS for the privilage of using the internet. Similarly, the content providers pay the ISP for the privilage of connecting to the internet and using the iSP's webspace and bandwidth for the downloads. This is true, no matter who you are; if you're Google, you pay an ISP to get on the internet and if you are Alex McFlipworth from a filesharing network you pay an iSP for the same thing. Content providers are not getting a free ride on anything, and I wish that ISPs would stop pretending like they are. Because they are not. EVERYONE pays for bandwidth. Even freaking Microsoft. The hilarious thing about this is that even if this weren't true and huge companies were piggybacking on the internet just, I dont' know, because they're big and evil or something, you'd still be totally wrong. The consumers have spoken, sir, and they are overwhelmingly for net nutrality. I, for example, do not make a single cent of profit off the internet. As a matter of fact, since I pay for the internet--like everyone else--I make negative money off of it. Yet, I am still supporting net nutrality. Why? Because it's just common sense to do so and if you don't you're either stupid, or being slipped bribes by the telecomunications industry. So which is it, Mr. Ted Stevens?

"I think the result will be if we go your way instead of paying 30 dollars a month for broadband it will be 50 to 60, it will restrict it, I think that's why the world has turned against this. They have not done it."

You sir, are not only wrong, but dangerously wrong. Please do me a personal favor, and fatally injure yourself on a sharpened household implament. The world has not turned against this. The exact opposite is true, in fact, as the US is the only assbackwards place in the entire world suggesting this insane idea of 'net nutrality.' As for your claim that broadband prices will go up, you are wrong and they won't. Or if they will, it won't be because they have to, it will be because they want to play screw the consumer games. Er, more than they already are. I could mention that most people are already paying $50 for broadband, but that would be nitpicking. North Korea has speeds ten times ours for a fraction of our price, and they seem to be doing just fine. China may have loads of censoring, sure, but they also have cheaper and faster internet than us, and far, far more subscribers to deal with. This whole idea that ISPs can't guaranty the service they provide without charging us more for it is insulting horseshit.

"Imposing a heavy-handed regulation before there is a demonstrated need is wrong."

What do you call AOL's blocking of the EFF, Mr. Stevens? What do you call Comcast's "accidental" blocking of craigslist? How about their blocking of the standard ports of WinMX file sharing program? What about the countless reports of Bit Torrent and Skype trafic being filtered or choked by ISPs, despite their lying to the contrary? IF those aren't demonstrated needs I don't know what are.

"I don't have to have that kind of speed they're talking about [...], but people who are streaming 10, 12 movies at a time, or a whole book at a time, [...] those aren't you and me, those aren't the consumers, those are the providers! And those people are using the internet as a delivery service, rather than using it as the concept of communication."

Mr. Senator, whether you like it or not, the internet is a content delivery system. Whether that content is video, audio, or text, it is still content. Let me try and explain this to you. Conceptually, there is no difference between an email, a Wikipedia entry, or a book. There is no difference between a Skype call, and a podcast. How do you tell the difference between a textbook and a fiction book? Er, you charge someone out the ass for the textbook, okay, bad example. How do you tell the difference, conceptually, between the sixth Harry Potter book and the Encyclopedia Britanica? The content is vastly different, however the delivery system is still the same: words on paper. This is clear by the concept of a "web page." The web page has text on it, first and formost. However, imbeded in that web page can be all kinds of things. Anything from images, to java script code, to embedded audio, to movies. All of that can be put onto the same web page. And you access this web page exactly the same way you would access another, simpler, more "educational" web page. The only difference is the size. This is something you clearly do not understand because you are laboring under the delusion that downloading 12 movies is the same as downloading a book. 12 movies (assuming you're talking about Hollywood features) could range anywhere from 2 to 20 gigabytes. Downloading a book ranges from .1 to 2 megabytes. Do you know the difference between a megabyte and a gigabyte, Senator? I would guess from your previous rant that you do not. The difference, however, is even more academic than this. How is the internet supposed to know the difference between a 200-megabyte porn flick and a 200-megabyte news video? The delivery system is the same, the content's size is the same. The content's, well, content, is all that is different. And what you are asking is to have the internet just sort of magically know what is "important" and what is not. And that, with all due respect (which is nill, because you have political power and seemingly no guiding intellect on how to use it), is ludicrous.

"Maybe there is a place for the commercial net. But it's not using the place that the consumers use every day."

Senator Dorkass, the "internet consumers" are the same people who are downloading this "commercial" content. Furthermore, if we're just going to limmit this to a discussion of movies, because that's what you seem to want to do, then commercial content is in fact a very, very, very small percentage of the internet trafic. If you were to open this up to software you'd have a better argument what with the hundred-megabyte game patches Valve loves to push onto people, but you didn't, so I'm not. Due to the fact that movie studios have their heads up their fucking asses, the ability to legally download movies has been basically nonexistent up until around early this year. As a result, the people are not downloading these movies legally... they're downloading them illegally. My own personal opinion of the Kazaa file sharing network aside, if ISPs *really* wanted to take the load off, they would report the people downloading movies to the FBI and have them arrested. Thereby removing them from their network. Working with the existing laws to find a solution. But, mysteriously, they're not doing that. Instead, tehy're trying to institute more laws that directly benifit them and indirectly benefit everyone else in some strange way that nobody can actually explain. Like America doesn't need more stupid and pointless laws already. Why are they doing this? They want more money! Shocker! Rather like you, esteemed Senator Ted Stevens, who took $71,250 this election cycle in donations from these telcos wanting the bill to protect net nutrality shot down (source: www.opensecrets.org). Wouldn't you say that's a conflict of interest of some sort? (I could point out that the amount of financing for your reelection that is coming out of your several hundred thousand-dollar pockets is 0, but that would be mean.)

In conclusion, everything you have said on the subject of net nutrality shows an appalling lack of understanding of basic internet fundamentals. Appalling because you, being the chairman of the committee dealing with this issue, have a responsibility to educate yourself on simple concepts like "how the internet works." It is clear, however, that any attempts you may have made to do so have resulted in--forgive the regression into Dick Gebhart-speak--a miserable failure. Therefore I respectfully demand as a constituant of your district that you remove yourself from this position of trust and power until such time as you obtain the necessary requisit knowledge to debate the issue intelligently. If I said even half of what you said at my job, I would be fired, because in real jobs where real people actually really work for their living, it is necessary to have a clue what you're talking about in order to be a good worker. You do not, therefore, you are ill-suited for your 'job.' So, please, do us ALL a favor, and get out. Your constituants, your fellow members of congress, the constituents of other districts--in fact, everyone who is not a cable or telephone company shill, has spoken on this issue--and they are for net nutrality. How's about you start doing what you've been elected to this representative republic of ours for, and fucking represent the people of this country?

You are not innocent.

2006-05-31T07:34:44Z

I'd like to make something perfectly, undeniably clear.

I'm a pretty easy going person, all things considered. Even to a fault; someone whom I regularly converse with getting me pissed enoguh to actually yell at them to their face is a thing that is so rare it is almost nonexistent. I've never ignored anyone online who wasn't a robot, amd I'm so disgustingly submissive that I'll let unreliable people (*cough* Nate!) 'borrow' my things and let them keep it weeks after they said they were going to and not mention that they were late, or that they took things without asking me as long as I actually get it back, in the end.

But there's just one thing that I will not stand. I absolutely, positively, unconditionally will not tollerate being lied to, for any reason. Oh, dont' get me wrong--if you're a basically unreliable person, I won't care, because you can't blame a cockroach for being a cockroach. But if you call yourself a friend of mine, then you'd better not be lying to me because otherwise oh, are you going to be in for a surprise. Apparently, the fact that I deal straight with people has been lost on some of you. Someone who should really know better has been laboring under the mistaken delusion that she can go out of her way to deceive me and that when the inevitable penny drops I'll just roll over and take it like I take everything. Rest assured that this is not and never was the case; as a result someone I once called one of my closest friends is now far from that. I am up front with everyone I talk to and hold nothing back, and I expect the same in return. So if any of you lott have something I should know, tell me now. Because of this person, I've been forced to change the way I deal with people, so I appologize in advance if anyone gets offended at me for not excepting a single claim at face value anymore. But quite frankly, if she'd do it, anyone of you could, and I'm through with being taken for granted. This is the only time I am going to bother saying this: if I discover you've been backstabbing me, I will no longer associate myself with you. Period. End of story.

PS--in a similar vein, if you're someone who doesn't actually like me very much but just sort of listens to me when you have nothing better to do (Megan, i'm looking at you.) I advise you to stop wasting both of our time and just tell me to fuck off. A one-sided conversation is idiotic, and I'm not bothering with that anymore either.

Adventures in homosexual firearms

2006-05-18T21:46:47Z

So I'm IMing with Erin (who is, for the record, teh coolest being in teh universe, about five times cooler than you you lowly scum reading this) and she came upon This ah... "gem". Erin's sterling response was: "I dont' know any girls gay enough to carry that." Intrigued, I went on a jaunty, er, jaunt through my IM list, to see if I knew anyone who might not be caught dead holding such a fabulous piece. Let's watch the results!

11:00 PM beccalove2005: I dont know any PERSON gay enough to buy that.
11:00 PM beccalove2005: And I know some VERY gay men.
11:01 PM beccalove2005: Richard Simmons isn't gay enough to buy that.

11:12 PM Jeremymia: Wow, this is a pretty gay gun.
11:12 PM Jeremymia: I bet it goes "zzzap!" when you shoot it.
11:12 PM Lysander: Haha.
11:12 PM Lysander: See, I told you.
11:13 PM Jeremymia: Told me what?
11:14 PM Jeremymia: Tell me or i'll zzzap you!
11:16 PM Lysander: That it was a very, very gay gun.
11:17 PM Jeremymia: Nothing that kills people can be that gay.
11:17 PM Jeremymia: But as far as guns go, yeah, it's pretty damn gay.

11:11 PM Lysander: Anyway, tell me you girlie girl you, woudl you buy this?
11:13 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: mwh. couldn't take it hunting
11:17 PM Lysander: But, i mean.
11:17 PM Lysander: That gun, it's kind of...
11:17 PM Lysander: A little bit...
11:17 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: and it's pink. blergh
11:17 PM Lysander: Thanks.
11:18 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: sorry but pink? who wants a pink gun Oo plus with all the mother of pearl stuff? sounds like it should be in a case with people going ooooohh, awwww, at it.
11:19 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: much rather have a nice smith'n'wesson or colt
11:19 PM Lysander: That was the sexyest thing anyone has ever said to me in...
11:19 PM Lysander: Oh, about an hour, or so.
can i say? pain killers = loopy
11:20 PM Lysander: You could say something along the lines of, holy crap is that fucking thing gay.
11:21 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: well.. yea. it is. kinda. but more like the kinda gun someone who wanted a gun to match their car/poodle would buy
11:21 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: a yuppie gun
11:26 PM Lysander: Dear God in Heaven, does such a thing exist as a neon-pink poodle?
11:26 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: yes
11:26 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: yes they do
11:26 PM PalmerAlaskanGrl: and they scare me
11:26 PM Lysander: :(

Lysander: Hey, you're gay, right?
EMythrandir: huh?
Lysander: Tell me, would you buy this:
EMythrandir: no, for multiple reasons
Lysander: Do you know anyone else who would?
EMythrandir: Not really

Inpassinggod: Hey, know any gay people?
Faintblueafterglimmer: My best friend is bi, why?
inpassinggod: would your best friend buy this?
Faintblueafterglimmer: haha
faintblueafterglimmer: ew
faintblueafterglimmer: no she wouldn't

inpassinggod: You live in the south, as well as being bisexual.
Inpassinggod: Tell me: would you, or anyone you know, buy this?
Adventurous_Mel: no.

11:37 PM Jack's wasted life: Hey, do you know any girliegirls?
11:38 PM Phache: why?
11:38 PM Jack's wasted life: Would any of them buy this:
11:38 PM Jack's wasted life: www.impactguns.com/store/725327601876.html
11:39 PM Phache: haha id buy that....
11:39 PM Phache: but i dont knwo any girls
11:39 PM Phache: taht ar einto artilery
11:39 PM Jack's wasted life: ...
11:40 PM Phache: hey a guns a gun
11:40 PM Jack's wasted life: That is not "artilaryt."
11:40 PM Jack's wasted life: That is "a reject from teh Lillith faire."
11:40 PM Phache: fuck it my fingers are cold im not acurate on ths keyboard
11:40 PM Jack's wasted life: Heh, i'ts okay, I'm fucking it up too :P
11:41 PM Phache: fuck iv shot musketas, m5s Uzis, implacement machine guns
11:41 PM Phache: and iv found out
11:41 PM Phache: they all shoot bullets
11:41 PM Phache: what the gun looksl
11:41 PM Phache: looks like*
11:41 PM Phache: dosnt matter
11:41 PM Jack's wasted life: It's .22 ammo though.
11:41 PM Jack's wasted life: A friend of mine shot a dying raccoon in teh head with one.
11:41 PM Jack's wasted life: And it didn't die.
11:41 PM Jack's wasted life: He shot it four times.
11:41 PM Phache: didint say i would buy it
11:41 PM Jack's wasted life: And it still didn't die.
11:41 PM Phache: ist alsmot 200 bucks
11:41 PM Jack's wasted life: He had to hit it with a shovel.
11:42 PM Phache: hhat hats funnt
11:42 PM Phache: funny*

Sarah Rennolds: Hey, I know a lot of girls who would buy something like that to shoot their husbands with.
Drew: But it won't even kill somebody!
Sarah Rennolds: EXACTLY.

So, there you have it. No one, in the entire universe, is gay enough for a gun like this...

Except for a 17-year-old death metal guitarest.

Who knew, eh?

Write congress!

2006-05-02T03:12:51Z

There is a sickly, disgusting thing growing in the House of Representatives and the Senate. Actually, there are several. But I"m going to try, if I can, to limmit myself to one. I'm talking here about the move spear-heade ATNT, Comcast and Vorizon, it is called a two-tiered internet. What these companies want to do, esentially, is get paid twice--once by people who sign up to the ISP--and again, by websites and content providers such as Bit Torrent--for the 'privilage' to use their ISP. They want Google to pay them to use high-speed internet. If these companies get their way, they'll be able to deligate websites that don't pay for 'premium' access to slow, slow-loading zone. As much as it pains me to sully this journal with a patition, much less a patition from move on dot org. I'm absolutely sick and fed up of these greedy cocksuckers paying government to do whatever they want. It's congress! We voted to give them the power to represent us! So please, let your voice be heard--call your state congressmen, write them a letter, send them an email. Or if you're too goddamned lazy to do any of those things, sign the stupid patition:http://civic.moveon.org/save_the_internet/index.html

Adventures in obscenity

2006-03-07T23:27:51Z

The Hart Dynamics Ultralite rack has caused me to utter the word "cunt" more than any object, person, or event, in the history of my life.

That is all.

What did I do?

2005-11-01T05:18:13Z

?: So, Jessica was being a douche last night. She thinks that my hatred of [rehab] is because withdrawls, I told her to ask you if she doesn't believe me, and she said we're both [and this is a direct quote], "law breaking idiots and assholes to boot]
Drew, the Silver Stud: Hah hah hah hah hah hah ha hah.
?: So I asked how you were a law breaking asshole and she's just like "well I don't know"

I had a very long, and also very whiny entry on this subject here. I am now deleting it, because I've talked to her about it. I find that talking to someone about something that's annoying me is preferable to writing a stupid Live Journal entry about it. In a way, this is a shame, as the entry I'm deleting had Nate being crushed like a tuna can in it, and we all know how much fun that is to read about. Sae la vi. SO now, I'll say just a few things.

, don't assume that because I agree with someone on something, I agree with that someone on everything and do everything the someone does. Thinking "he hates A because he's doing bad thing B and since you agree with him you must also be doing b and are therefor just as stupid" is not only insulting to me, but is jumping to a LOT of conclusions. Both of which are somewhat irresponsible.

Nisch hast

2005-10-24T03:30:44Z

So, I haven't updated in a while. This is because, simply, not much is happening. I could talk about the test everyone took a month ago that I'm taking now because, literally, the teacher forgot to send it to me, or that now that I've done it I can't print it because my mom apparently bought me an empty ink cartridge, butI can already hear the Drew's Army of Doom stretching out on their beds and snoring. Instead, I'm going to go down the line of a list of things I hate. Y'all ready? Here we gooo!

I hate...

people who ask other people to open doors for me. Seriously, people do this. Look, if you want to help open a door for me, that's cool. I would really rather you didn't, but if you wanna, go crazy. But you're, what, opening the door for me by proxy? That don't work. This goes double for someone who is a figure of authority like a teacher or a principal or something. That really bugs me because what's the other person going to do, say no and get in trouble? Then that person resents me for just standing there.

I hate...
As a corilary, people who try to do things for me when I am better at doing them then they are. I get ambushed when I go to the cafeteria by staff who get my order wrong three times, insist on walking me to the soda machine because I, I don't know, might get mugged or something... and then force me to go back because the one thing I actually -could- use help on is the one that they forgot, so now I look like a primadonna.

I hate...
Whoever it was that decided anorexia, buleemia and obeecity were diseases. (Hey, while we're making up problems, I got one: I can't spell worth shit. Can I get my tax lean now?) Only in America is "I don't wanna eat!" considered to be a disorder. We already have a name for "hunger strike disease", it's called suicide. Which is already retarded enough [see below]. We don't need any more stupid waste of time "conditions". If you are actually so obsessed on your image that you are deliberately throwing up perfectly good food in an attempt to impress your slutty gynmist friend, see a fucking psychologist. Not for the upchucking, for your total lack of self asteme that is as obvious as it is unhealthy. As for obeesity, if you want to eat whatever the hell you want, you've got two options: get off your fat ass and excersise, or stay on your fat ass and enjoy it. Life is not without sacrifice.

I hate...
Christians in places of authority. Look, nothing against Christians as persons, but believing in religeon is like a celebration of turning your back on common sense. The one and only exception to this is Flannery O'Conorr, and she's dead. But if you're just doin' your own thing, you know, being Christian, hey great. Way worse things you could be doing. I may not agree with all your morals, or your reasons for them, but I think we can all agree that "rape is bad" (unless you're, um, yeah) and the like so as long as you keep it to yourself, hey, it's all good. I don't even mind it if you try to convert me, honestly. I'm always up for a good debate, as everyone who knows me should know too well by now. Where I draw the line is when you use your position of authority to impose your morals on other people. My x works at a newspaper and her editorials on homosexuality keep getting censored by the piece of shit running it because "people wouldn't agree." Say what? Since when is getting people to agree with you the point of an editorial? It's an opinion piece. If you don't want to read someone's opinion, don't fucking read it, jackass. School administrators enforcing Christianity on students angers me. And don't even get me started on Palestine and Israel. I'm absolutely overjoyed that the pope is a Nazi. Now if any Catholic starts whining, yes, whining at me because I dare to support the death penalty for rapists, murderers and copyright lawyers, all I have to say is "Your pope is a Nazi. Shaddup."

I hate...
Racists. Only humanity could come up with a concept so brain-dead idiotic as racism. It literally is the stupidest thing to hate someone for I've ever, ever seen. I hate racism more than anything else in the world because although murderers, well, murder, although rapists mentally and physically scar people for the rest of their lives, Anne Coulter is still stupider than most rapists. Which is pretty sad, 'cause a lot of rapists are pretty damn stupid. Special bonus points go to the ones who try and force the blowjob. I don't hate them, I just laugh.

I hate...
lincoln Park. What a pathetic, worthless waste of a perfectly good recording studio. Weh, waahhhaa craaaling iin my skiiiin! I'm so incredibly depressed by the millions of dollars i'm getting from my record sails I'm gonna write pseudo-rap music to get more for fueling my crack adiction!

I hate...
People who feel the need to update me, their mom, the vykker's cat and anyone in Instant messenger range on how their life is going through their screen name. I don't care--No one cares. Why should I give a shit if u saw this realy cute guy at a party last night!? Why do you people do this!? I've got my eye on one girl just so that when she decides to finally end it all I'll find out about it by the lyrics in her custom status message.

I hate...
Freedom Scientific. JAWS, the program I use to read my screen--can be yours, for the low, low price of $1300! These are the people who used floppy disks for their authorization scheme until 2004. The people who haven't had a single useful feature since 4.51, released oh, 3 years ago. And they expect me to pay an extra $200+ per useless upgrade with features no one cares about. Yeah, great, thank you for giving me the ability to assign custom labels to a specific line on http://www.blahblahblah.com/blahblah.cgi?page=1andamp;pg=1andblahblah-_-_djadfjwjz?izjeraquix, meanwhile I can't read PDF documents. One is just slightly more useful than the other, okay? the PacMate--you know what? I've ranted about this completely useless product before so I'm not going to again. Y'all get the idea.

I hate...
Yahoo! Inc. I don't THINK I've ranted about them on this journal, but suffice it to say that any company who's idea of stopping pedophiles from running wild on their chat service is shutting down their ability to make havens for themselves and forcing them into the rooms where the actual kids are, needs a solid Bogie punch in the teeth. At the fucking least. Blargh, this was supposed to be fun, but there really isn't anything funny about child rape.

I hate...
Since we're on the subject lately, people in Florida who buy beach houses. And then whine that their oh-so expensive property got raped by a natural disaster. Listen, DUMBASS, hurricanes pummel the Florida coast almost yearly. If you've been living there long enough to own a house, you know by now that the beaches of Florida is where hurricanes will go to flatten your stupid ass. Anyone who suffers from such an acute case of fuck-the-common-people as to build a hundred million-dollar home in the way of a hurricane quite frankly deserves to have the useless thing torn down, destroyed, and redistributed to the four winds; and anyone who then whines, piteously and pathetically, that she had no idea and that the government had better replace the cost of her house which was, of course, 3 million dollarstee hee! Deserves to have her useless self torn down, destroyed, and redistributed to the four winds along with that stupid fucking house.

I hate...
People who say they're going to kill themselves. Bullshit. How do I know it's bullshit? Because you've spent ten years working on that appearance and you and I both know you're not going to let the $4000 in makeup tools go to waste on a decomposing fleshbag. If you want some attention from me, fine. Walk into a room, or open up an IM window--with me, even! I'm cool with that--and say, in 48-point font if it makes you fel better (especially to me, because I won't notice so you'll still look just as intelligent) "I WANT SOME GOD DAMN ATTENTION HERE!!!" Then I'll be happy to discuss with you the things you find so freaking important and un-live-able. But don't pull that bullshit just to get some attention. That's insulting to the people who, you know, actually have problems worth listening to that need to be talked out of it, as opposed to you, who wants to be talked into it.

I hate...
People who actually commit suicide. There is no problem that bad. Okay? None. The only time I'm committing suicide is when the zombie plague starts. And before then you bet your ass I'm buying a shotgun or two to take some zombified housewives out first. Hell, even if the entire city turned intollerant fuck-brained Republican I'd still at least go out in a hail of bullets. No problem can be solved with a bullet to your own brain. It just creates more for all the people who have to live with your dead ass. It's an act of pure selfishness, and if you weren't dead I'd probably slap you in the face for being such a thoughtless asshole. No matter what's wrong, no matter how hard or in-solv-able a problem is, there is always one way out better than death. Always. Because when you die, people are going to miss you. Even if they never knew you, they will still miss the potential gift to society you could have givven, but didn't, because you were too wrapped up in your own life to think about other people.

I hate...
People who make these whiny-ass pointless journal entries. Stop bitch and do something, you worthless yuppies. If you put half the energy you did into writing these pointless rants as you did into actually trying to make a difference, the world would... well, it probably wouldn't be a perfect place or anything, but it might have made Linkin Park a little less popular at lest...

Japanesus? And he's black? WTF?

2005-10-21T09:15:26Z

Will (10/21/2005 1:19:30 AM): You have to see this character profile...
Drew (10/21/2005 1:20:33 AM): Oki doki.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:20:46 AM): Who is it?
Will (10/21/2005 1:20:48 AM): It's almost perfect.
Will (10/21/2005 1:20:56 AM): I don't know. Some guy on some forum I'm a member of.
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:09 AM): It'll take a couple of posts.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:21:12 AM): Ah.
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:22 AM): Username: Ebony Kirigashi Name: Ebony Kirigashi Age: appears to be around 22
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:23 AM): First
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:28 AM): Allow me to point out the first name. Ebony.
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:34 AM): Brilliant. And the last name. It appears Japanese.
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:40 AM): I'm already looking forward to an amazing profile.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:21:50 AM): *snicker*
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:53 AM): But here's the best part of this first portion.
Will (10/21/2005 1:21:57 AM): "appears to be around 22"
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:01 AM): Oh, the mystery.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:22:03 AM): Yeah, I saw that.
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:07 AM): Appears to be around 22.
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:12 AM): You don't appear to be around 22.
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:15 AM): You appear to be around 20.
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:16 AM): Or 25.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:22:19 AM): THat means he's really a 12-year-old working desperately at etting laid.
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:31 AM): This profile only gets better.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:22:39 AM): I appear to be aroudn 16, apparently. Airport checkers are always prettily informing me that I don't need to show any
ID.
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:52 AM): I appear to be around 23. I get offered alcohol at restaurants a lot.
Will (10/21/2005 1:22:58 AM): *snickers*
Will (10/21/2005 1:23:05 AM): Anyway.
Will (10/21/2005 1:23:12 AM): His appearance is almost the best part... almost.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:23:20 AM): SweHaha, sweet.
Will (10/21/2005 1:23:29 AM): Appearence: Ebony would appear to be a perfect warrior, his broad shoulders and large amounts of muscle
and sinew giving him a slightly slender, quick but strong look, his dark skin and hair shadowing his face. His hair reaches his waist and is a long, sleek
black colour. He wears a black button down, the top two buttons, collar and the one below it unbuttoned, giving him breathing room. His loose fitting black
pants allow him to avoid injury there easier, and his sunglasses rest at the bridge of his nose, hiding icey blue eyes and an eyepatch is slung around
his left eye to hide a scar that left him blind in that eye. His chest, for those who manage to see it is littered with scars, and he has a set of welt
marks on his back, indicating whipping.
Will (10/21/2005 1:23:50 AM): His hair is a long sleek black color.
Will (10/21/2005 1:23:53 AM): Long. Color.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:23:57 AM): ...Why does he have glasses if he never wears them?
Will (10/21/2005 1:24:02 AM): Oh, and he would appear to be a perfect warrior.
Will (10/21/2005 1:24:04 AM): Just like he appears to be 22.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:24:22 AM): Ebony, the perfect warrior!
Drew (10/21/2005 1:24:26 AM): I can't get over that.
Will (10/21/2005 1:24:26 AM): Hahahaha.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:24:30 AM): I want to hear his battlecry.
Will (10/21/2005 1:24:32 AM): Here's my favorite part.
Will (10/21/2005 1:24:42 AM): "His loose fitting black pants allow him to avoid injury there easier"
Drew (10/21/2005 1:24:47 AM): I, ebony, am seriously gonna kick your ass, biooootch!
Drew (10/21/2005 1:24:55 AM): Yeah, we all know what there means.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:00 AM): Hahahahaha.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:10 AM): I wear loose fitting black pants to my martial arts class every monday and wednesday.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:13 AM): Never have they protected me.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:20 AM): They're pants, not fucking plate mail.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:25:20 AM): Hahahahahaha.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:25:27 AM): Seriously.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:40 AM): Oh, he's missing one eye.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:42 AM): How badass is that.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:46 AM): And whipping marks. Added mystery.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:48 AM): I'm intruiged.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:25:53 AM): Not at all.
Will (10/21/2005 1:25:56 AM): I wonder what kind of weapons a perfect warrior uses.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:01 AM): Now, if hte missing eye socket had a LASER BWEAM...
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:12 AM): Ebony lances.
Will (10/21/2005 1:26:15 AM): Better.
Will (10/21/2005 1:26:21 AM): I'll post it in parts because it'll only get funnier.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:27 AM): Wait, wait.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:30 AM): About the whipping.
Will (10/21/2005 1:26:33 AM): Yes?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:34 AM): YOu konw what that reminds me of?
Will (10/21/2005 1:26:37 AM): What?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:39 AM): The flatchalants.
Will (10/21/2005 1:26:46 AM): You lost me.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:46 AM): Er, flajulants.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:26:49 AM): I think.
Will (10/21/2005 1:26:53 AM): Sound it out.
Will (10/21/2005 1:27:06 AM): err... spell it phonetically.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:27:08 AM): Fla-chu-lants.
Will (10/21/2005 1:27:13 AM): ...Flatulence?
Will (10/21/2005 1:27:15 AM): Like, gas?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:27:15 AM): Hee.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:27:20 AM): No.
Will (10/21/2005 1:27:21 AM): Oh.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:27:23 AM): It sounds like that ,but no.
Will (10/21/2005 1:27:27 AM): 'splain, Lucy.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:27:35 AM): I think it's that, but with a j.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:28:13 AM): They were a group of monks durring the black plague days that would walk around naked and whip themselves with studded
leather to try and drive out their impurities so the plague wouldn't get them.
Will (10/21/2005 1:28:35 AM): Ohh, yeah.
Will (10/21/2005 1:28:35 AM): Them.
Will (10/21/2005 1:28:39 AM): They'd flaggelate themselves.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:28:53 AM): So, I get the image of Mr. perfect ebony warrior here trying to pass off being in the single stupidest cult in existance
as angsty and bad-ass.
Will (10/21/2005 1:28:58 AM): *Laughs*
Drew (10/21/2005 1:29:00 AM): Yes, thanks.
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:06 AM): Dude, I think you may be right on.
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:13 AM): Okay.
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:20 AM): Ready for the weapons? This is another really good part.
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:22 AM): Wepons:
Drew (10/21/2005 1:29:29 AM): I shudder with antici
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:33 AM): He wields twin katanas
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:37 AM): Comma
Drew (10/21/2005 1:29:38 AM): pation
Drew (10/21/2005 1:29:42 AM): Haahahahahahahahaha.
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:50 AM): as well as two broadswords
Drew (10/21/2005 1:29:53 AM): YOu--
Will (10/21/2005 1:29:55 AM): Comma
Drew (10/21/2005 1:29:56 AM): Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Will (10/21/2005 1:30:06 AM): and a greatsword.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:30:10 AM): .....
Drew (10/21/2005 1:30:13 AM): At once?
Will (10/21/2005 1:30:17 AM): It doesn't say.
Will (10/21/2005 1:30:20 AM): I can only assume the answer is yes.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:30:37 AM): I want someone to make a picture of that.
Will (10/21/2005 1:30:42 AM): That's how the sentence is structed, after all. Though "structure" doesn't really apply to this profile.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:30:46 AM): God, I would pay in blood for that.
Will (10/21/2005 1:30:49 AM): Ditto.
Will (10/21/2005 1:30:52 AM): But as I said.
Will (10/21/2005 1:30:58 AM): This profile only gets better as it goes on.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:31:03 AM): Wow.
Will (10/21/2005 1:31:12 AM): His armor is even better in my opinion.
Will (10/21/2005 1:31:16 AM): Armor: His battle armor is a sleek black style, many spikes. It is light enough for fast movment, but
also durable enough to take several hits with the force of the strongest weapons, and it also gives amplification to some of his abilities
Drew (10/21/2005 1:31:34 AM): Yes, but does it protect that?
Will (10/21/2005 1:31:40 AM): This light armor can apparently be hit with the force of the STRONGEST WEAPONS
Will (10/21/2005 1:31:41 AM): You mean there?
Will (10/21/2005 1:31:51 AM): OH.
Will (10/21/2005 1:31:56 AM): And it amplifies some of his abilities.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:31:57 AM): Yeah.
Will (10/21/2005 1:32:12 AM): Ambiguity left in for use in "oh crap" situations in the future.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:32:24 AM): Like two katanas, two broadswords, and a greatsword?
Will (10/21/2005 1:32:30 AM): Maybe his armor has extra arms on it.
Will (10/21/2005 1:32:58 AM): One of the extra arms probably holds a whip that he uses to flagellate himself, too.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:33:06 AM): Exactly!
Will (10/21/2005 1:33:14 AM): Oh.
Will (10/21/2005 1:33:17 AM): His personality is golden.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:33:17 AM): He's a perfect ebony cyborg warrior!
Drew (10/21/2005 1:33:23 AM): Genuis!
Will (10/21/2005 1:33:25 AM): Again, I'll post it in parts.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:33:37 AM): I wonder...
Drew (10/21/2005 1:34:02 AM): Does his armor amplify his ability to wield five fucking huge swords at once?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:34:13 AM): Or just to be an annoying angstfest?
Will (10/21/2005 1:34:44 AM): Well, it amplifies some of his abilities.
Will (10/21/2005 1:34:50 AM): So maybe it does both.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:35:10 AM): How about his ability to avoid there easier?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:35:16 AM): Er, hitting there, rather.
Will (10/21/2005 1:35:23 AM): I doubt it. His loose-fitting pants are enough for that.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:35:24 AM): Wait, shit, I did that one already. Sorry.
Will (10/21/2005 1:35:34 AM): After all, they're loose-fitting.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:35:38 AM): Bah. YOu can never be too careful, these days.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:35:49 AM): What with all those girls going for your there.
Will (10/21/2005 1:36:15 AM): Yeah. And you know how girls get over perfect angsting mysterious badass warriors with one eye and five
huge penis-compensation weapons.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:36:26 AM): SIx. You forgot hte whip again.
Will (10/21/2005 1:36:30 AM): Oh, right.
Will (10/21/2005 1:36:31 AM): Six.
Will (10/21/2005 1:36:36 AM): My bad.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:36:41 AM): Yes.
Will (10/21/2005 1:36:43 AM): Okay.
Will (10/21/2005 1:36:45 AM): His personality.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:36:49 AM): RIght.
Will (10/21/2005 1:36:50 AM): Personality:
Drew (10/21/2005 1:36:57 AM): Bleedin' annoying.
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:04 AM): He is easygoing, protective of his friends and easy to get along with
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:09 AM): Sounds fine, right?
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:11 AM): But there's one last part.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:37:17 AM): Even while he's whipping himself?
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:30 AM): but has a hairtrigger temper
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:33 AM): Now.
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:35 AM): First of all.
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:40 AM): If you have a hairtrigger temper
Drew (10/21/2005 1:37:42 AM): He's easiest to get along with when he's taken off his there-protecting loose fitting pants. Helllooo, ladies.
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:42 AM): You're NOT easygoing.
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:52 AM): Secondly.
Will (10/21/2005 1:37:56 AM): IF you have a hairtrigger temper.
Will (10/21/2005 1:38:00 AM): You're not easy to get along with, either.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:38:12 AM): THirdly, hahahaha.
Will (10/21/2005 1:38:34 AM): I guess his personality conflicts make him more mysterious and badass.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:39:19 AM): THigns that set off his hair trigger include: poking his empty eye socket, using the spikes on his armor to hang ad banners,
hding his loose fitting pants that protect there easier, and swithcing his kitannas and broadswords around to confuse him.
Will (10/21/2005 1:39:32 AM): *falls over laughing*
Will (10/21/2005 1:39:41 AM): Okay.
Will (10/21/2005 1:39:53 AM): This is all beautiful, I knew you'd understand. You were the perfect person to show this to.
Will (10/21/2005 1:39:56 AM): But, the best has yet to come.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:39:57 AM): Oh, and walking in on him while he's flajulating.
Will (10/21/2005 1:39:58 AM): His History...
Will (10/21/2005 1:40:06 AM): His history really makes this profile perfect.
Will (10/21/2005 1:40:15 AM): It ties everything together.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:40:26 AM): What, you mean before or after he joiend the flageulants?
Will (10/21/2005 1:40:38 AM): I'm not sure. There's a gap between the present and childhood.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:40:38 AM): I'm sorry, I cna't get over that.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:40:46 AM): Like Jesus.
Will (10/21/2005 1:40:50 AM): Yeah, a lot like Jesus.
Will (10/21/2005 1:40:53 AM): Ready?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:41:02 AM): Was Jesus a flajulant?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:41:08 AM): That would explain a lot.
Will (10/21/2005 1:41:11 AM): He did get the shit whipped out of him.
Will (10/21/2005 1:41:17 AM): Not to mention most of his blood.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:41:27 AM): And, shit, only Jesus coudl weild two kitanas, two broadswords, and a greatsword.
Will (10/21/2005 1:41:33 AM): Yeah.
Will (10/21/2005 1:41:43 AM): And only Jesus could get loose-fitting pants that protected there easier.
Will (10/21/2005 1:41:51 AM): I mean, he's fucking Jesus.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:41:52 AM): I wasn't gonna go there, but yes.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:41:54 AM): And the armor.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:42:10 AM): I think anyone could get loose fitting pants that protect htere easier, really.
Will (10/21/2005 1:42:13 AM): Yeah. The armor that is lightweight yet can withstand SEVERAL blows from the STRONGEST WEAPON
Drew (10/21/2005 1:42:25 AM): It just costs them more. And most don't bother becaseu they don't really want their there to be protected.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:42:34 AM): Exactly. That can only be God's will.
Will (10/21/2005 1:42:40 AM): My God.
Will (10/21/2005 1:42:46 AM): This man is Jesus.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:42:52 AM): But he's Japanese.
Will (10/21/2005 1:42:58 AM): Japanesus.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:43:05 AM): Hahahahahahahahaha!
Drew (10/21/2005 1:43:29 AM): Ebony Japanesus.
Will (10/21/2005 1:43:41 AM): History:
Will (10/21/2005 1:43:50 AM): Be sure you're sitting down for this one.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:44:01 AM): I'm kneeling.
Will (10/21/2005 1:44:21 AM): He was travelling and heard of the tournament, and now hopes to overthrow the maker of this disgusting
sport, as he is a peaceable man.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:44:23 AM): With, as it happens, my loose fitting pants that protect there easier off.
Will (10/21/2005 1:44:30 AM): Okay.
Will (10/21/2005 1:44:31 AM): Now.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:44:39 AM): Bwah-gah-hah-haw-haahahaahahahahahahahaha!
Drew (10/21/2005 1:44:41 AM): That's funny as it is.
Will (10/21/2005 1:44:43 AM): How many peaceable men do you know that carry around 5 fucking huge weapon?
Will (10/21/2005 1:44:51 AM): weapons*
Drew (10/21/2005 1:44:56 AM): He's a peaceable man, which is why he weilds not one, not two, five weapnos.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:01 AM): *Nods*
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:03 AM): Right,.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:45:03 AM): Yes, exactly.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:07 AM): 'And wears specially designed armor.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:12 AM): And specially designed pants to protect there easier.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:45:25 AM): ANd lightweight armor thatn can wistand a blow from any weapon.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:29 AM): This is a pretty fucking battle-ready peaceable man.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:45:37 AM): Hey, Jesus was peaceful too, which is why people kill gays in his name.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:42 AM): True.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:43 AM): But wait.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:48 AM): Here's the best part.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:51 AM): The part that made it all worth it.
Will (10/21/2005 1:45:58 AM): Ready?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:45:59 AM): YOu keep fucking saying that.
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:03 AM): NO DUDE
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:04 AM): THIS IS IT
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:10 AM): THIS IS THE PART
Drew (10/21/2005 1:46:10 AM): RIght.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:46:16 AM): This is the preverbial it.
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:19 AM): Noone really knows much more
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:22 AM): comma
Drew (10/21/2005 1:46:28 AM): I think he would.
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:31 AM): except that he accidentally destroyed a town in childhood with one blow
Drew (10/21/2005 1:46:33 AM): He's writing hte fucking profile.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:46:35 AM): CHeeky bastard.
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:41 AM): ACCIDENTALLY
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:43 AM): DESTROYED A TOWN
Drew (10/21/2005 1:46:44 AM): Oopsie!
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:45 AM): IN CHILDHOOD
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:49 AM): WITH ONE BLOW
Will (10/21/2005 1:46:58 AM): Now...
Drew (10/21/2005 1:46:58 AM): Whoa! Damn, what an embarrasment!
Will (10/21/2005 1:47:00 AM): My question is.
Will (10/21/2005 1:47:05 AM): If you can destroy a town in one blow.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:47:05 AM): THat'll teach me to roll over in the cradel!
Will (10/21/2005 1:47:08 AM): Why do you need five weapons?>
Drew (10/21/2005 1:47:45 AM): Who aid he used them on other people?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:47:55 AM): Maybe, because he's such a fucking bad ass, that's how he flajulates now.
Will (10/21/2005 1:48:02 AM): With five weapons?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:48:08 AM): Why not?
Will (10/21/2005 1:48:10 AM): Wow.
Will (10/21/2005 1:48:12 AM): That IS badass.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:48:18 AM): In'nit?
Will (10/21/2005 1:48:23 AM): Here's another question.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:48:27 AM): See, he hangs them on the spike sof his armor.
Will (10/21/2005 1:48:42 AM): What was he doing blowing the town in the first place? You're bound to accidentally destroy it if you're
so goddamn powerful.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:48:50 AM): Breastfeeding.
Will (10/21/2005 1:48:53 AM): Oh.
Will (10/21/2005 1:49:01 AM): So what, he flailed a little and the town went supernova?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:49:08 AM): Yeah.
Will (10/21/2005 1:49:12 AM): Whoops.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:49:14 AM): It's like in the Matrix Revolutions. SHOCKWAVE!
Will (10/21/2005 1:49:16 AM): No wonder he's so angsty.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:50:40 AM): In fact, it was probably an accieent he had nothign to do with. Neo and Agent Smith were fighting in teh clouds and the
director forgot to film one of htose idiotic fucking shockwaves so it landed on the town at hte exact moment he said "This place blows, I really wish a
shockwave woud just completely level this place" and leveled the place. The emotional scars brought him to join the flajulants to attone, where he decided
to forgo whips, and weild all five of his weapons.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:51:07 AM): Which he uses to reitualistically cut against the lgghtweight armor that can withstand any blow.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:51:20 AM): It's cursed, you see. like Bishimon, he can't take it off, and it makes himi kill! Kill! KILL!
Will (10/21/2005 1:51:30 AM): Even though he's peaceable.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:51:31 AM): So he tried gouging his eyes out because that's all he could get out.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:51:50 AM): But hes' too much of a huge dripping vagina to go for the decaptation, lousy asshole.
Will (10/21/2005 1:52:11 AM): Oh wait, shit.
Will (10/21/2005 1:52:14 AM): I forgot part of his appearance.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:52:21 AM): Shame,
Will (10/21/2005 1:52:23 AM): This might be important.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:52:29 AM): Okay.
Will (10/21/2005 1:52:34 AM): His long black trenchcoat reaches his ankles, where large, solid black boots protect his feet. There is
a small insignia which is mahickally attached to his shirt.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:52:55 AM): So he wears a shirt, a trenchcoat, and armor.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:53:05 AM): I hope he never visits SOuthern California.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:53:08 AM): Or Nevada.
Will (10/21/2005 1:53:08 AM): Seriously.
Will (10/21/2005 1:53:12 AM): Or anywhere but like
Will (10/21/2005 1:53:15 AM): Maine.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:53:27 AM): What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... unliess you accidentally destroy it with one blow!
Will (10/21/2005 1:53:35 AM): Hahahahahahahahaha.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:53:48 AM): THen we fuckin' cook your goddamn ass, shitface.
Will (10/21/2005 1:53:53 AM): Oh man.
Will (10/21/2005 1:54:02 AM): This guy just has godmoder written all over him, don't you agree?
Drew (10/21/2005 1:54:13 AM): Dude, we've been over that.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:54:18 AM): He's not a godmoad.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:54:22 AM): He's Japanesus.
Will (10/21/2005 1:54:36 AM): Oh yeah.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:54:39 AM): As well as being a black man born in Japan.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:55:19 AM): Which means he's always being oppressed because of his fondness for schoolgirl tentacle rape porn.
Will (10/21/2005 1:56:13 AM): Poor Ebony Japanesus.
Will (10/21/2005 1:56:16 AM): No wonder he's so angsty.
Will (10/21/2005 1:56:20 AM): I'd flagellate myself too.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:56:25 AM): With swords.
Will (10/21/2005 1:56:33 AM): Five swords.
Drew (10/21/2005 1:56:37 AM): His loose fitting pants that protect there easier are his only friend. I weep for Ebony Japanesus. See me weep. :'(

People are a problem.

2005-09-30T23:31:17Z

As probably... um... none... of you know, I listen to a show on ACB Radio called "Main Menu." It comes on once a week for about an hour, and it basically serves to keep me up to date on onovations in the field of blind-friendly technology. (it's how I found out about the cell phone stuff, for instance.) Just recently they did a show that's basically just a recording from a national showcase in Vegas (...yeah, I thought that was funny too, but let's move on) where someone who is herself totally blind who works at Microsoft came to talk about accessibility in Windows Vista. This woman has, incidentally, the best title i've ever heard of: "technical evangelist." That's so self-mockingly true, man. Actually there were some genuinly funny moments, like near the beginning, when she addressed the room at large and asked "How many of you have used Microsoft Narator?" a pause. Everyone burst out laughing. Narator is its own punchline.

What I really want to talk about here, though, needs a bit of context, which I will gladly provide you! This may bore some (or most... all maybe) of you but fuck it, this is my journal.

Microsoft made the decision waaaay back in 1993, that they would not compete with screen reader companies by releasing screen readers that were included in the opperating system. It's a lot like their decision not to have antivirus and spyware scanners in the system, which seems to have angered very many people--because, right, the company I want scanning my system for viruses is the same program that allowed those viruses to exist in the first place. I don't think so. Anyway, the thing that makes this stupid is that the prices for screen readers have a tendency to cheerfully flirt with the $1000 mark--which is, now, more than an embarrassingly high number of desktops themselves cost. So, people like to try and find people to blame for this, and a lot blame Microsoft, because hey, it's big and it's bad and it's Microsoft! It's a huge corporation! Get 'em!

What i'm pissed off about is something this... bitch... did durring the Q&A session. Here is what she said.

"Hi... I have a comment and then a question..."

Already, my spider sense is pinging. The questions up to this point have been edged at times but still very good, and the answers were rather informative--at one point someone asked a question with a lot of attitude that was actually a very good well-thought-out one with a good answer to follow, so I have no idea where the anger came from. But anyway. This is not a Q&C&A session, it is a Q&A session. If you want to comment, comment like me, on your lame-ass blog.

"you may or may not have an answer, but..."

Translation: "I'm going to ask the Microsoft representative a rhetorical question just to be an ass." Great.

"I just happened to be with Greg Louning (I think) in March of 1993 at CSUN when he made a call to the office--this was one of the first CSUN confrences where they were talking about GUI access--and he came to me and he said "What about the idea that we won't compete with third-party businesses in accessibility, do you think that as a reason will fly?""

The correct answer to this, in case you are wondering, is "yes, it will." I can't imagine, really, anyone being happy if Micro$oft decided to go the other way. But that's for later.

"And I said, well,Microsoft has never had any qualms before about competeing with third party businesses."

Here, she has a point. It's still an incredibly rude thing to say to someone who works for Microsoft who's job is to sell a product she has extremely limmited leverage on making, but it's still a valid point. But she continues...

"And I don't see why this should change in the field of accessibility, I dont' really see what's different. And that still holds true today, especially in the case where access for us now costs more than the computer itself. Um, i think that, this is totally, bogus, aaand, ummm, that the reasons that you guys are siding for not doing it are just, not... not realistic. Also, in that vein, if that is the tack that you wanna take, then I would suggest that you put that in your PR, instead of implying that you do provide access that you really don't. My term for that is 'image without substance.' Thank you."

My God.

Just going back and transcribing me that out for you flabberghasted me. Do you see? Do you see what you are doing to me, you people?

And you know what is worsse? Yes, there's something worse than that--after she sat down, far too many people cheered her on.

Of course, five secodns later ,the applause dies down, leaving a dead silent room with this poor woman standing at the mic having to say something back to that.

Okay, let's take this one thing at a time. First of all, it's a politeness issue. When you're sitting in the audience and you're listening to someone from Microsoft who has very graciously donated time out of a fucking OS beta cycle--which is about the most valuable of valuable times you can think of for a computer company--to come down to, of all the goddamned places, Las Vegas, to tell YOU about new stuff that's coming out of their doors, that is not the time to get on a soapbox and bitch. Okay? it's not. It's fucking not. Not at all. Listening to that I actually yelled out "what the... fuck?" I very rarely do that. That's just the first thing. The second thing is that... well... read it again. Plase? Alright, you don't have to read it again, just scan it for a question mark. Do you see one anywhere? That's funny, NEITHER DO I, except once, where she's quoting someone else. Where's the question? Come on, where is it? You said you had a question, now where is it? I wanna know your question! Oh, right, you didn't have one. You're just using the Q&A time as an excuse to spout your uninformed ass off about things. That leads to the third thing. What did she think? Did she think that by insulting the company she works for that would somehow enable her to change their business strategies? Just so you know: the answer is no, it won't. The FOURTH thing is that she's not even talking to the right person. Never mind that the person you're talking to is blind herself, and has to deal with the exact same shit that you have to deal with all the fucking time, she works for Microsoft! Burn the witch! BUURN'ER! That is so incredibly not fair.

Okay, I've dealt with all the things wrong with the context, finally, now I will deal with the actual contents of her statement, and I will do it in ways that the Microsoft person probably couldn't at the risk of provoking more idiot outbursts.

First point. Microsoft has a gaming section, an OS section, an internet browser section, a console hardware section, a word processing section, a spreadsheet section, an ISP section, a music section, an email section, an instant messenger section, actually six or seven OS sections now that I think about it, a search section, and... yeah, go down and down the line. Pretty much all of these things are things that are enough to satisfy one company all by its own. Netscape only had the internet browser for the longest time, and only in the last year or so are they tentatively moving in the direction of ISP. Yahoo's only doing ISP, instant messaging, music and search. AOL is doing a web browser, instant messenger, ISP, email, search, probably music... and AOL, it is important to note, does all of these things very, very badly. Corelle does only the word processing and so forth. Google does ads, search, instant messaging and email. These are HUGE companies that I'm talking about here, but all of these are just fractions of the things Microsoft has expanded into. EarthLink, People PC online, Net-0--these are JUST ISP companies, and yet that's enough for them, because it's hard enough to do just that, let alone anything else. At Microsoft, pretty much every day is the busiest day of your life, unless it's now and you're working on Vista, in which case tomorrow is always the busiest day of your life. And you have the gaul to say that they're not doing enough? That deserves a nice uninteligent round basic good ol' fuck you right in the teeth.

Second point. How many of you have used Internet Explorer? Baahahahahahahahaa. Exactly. Does anyone want Microsoft making a screen access program the way they made Internet Exploiter? God, no. Just, no. Please. No. Do not tempt them to do this, for the love of God and anything good in the world NNNOOOOOOOOOOO.

Third point. There is no third point.

Fourth point. You ask for included screen access support, what do you think that does to the price? That's right genius, it skyrockets. How about development cycles? That's right--they get bigger than the price.

So what you're basically asking is that they spend months and months and months and probably a year or a two making a screen reader that will have the same standards we've come to love and disrespect about Microsoft that makes the OS cost hundreds of dollars more and driving the prices of computers back up again for absolutely everybody, just so that you can have the convenience of the screen reader in the package? Hey, here's an idea, how about including Office with all versions of Windows! Sure it'll make Windows cost 300 dollars more, but it's quicker and easier to do than what you're asking, and will probably cost less money in the outrun! And it's convenient! That's what this is all about, right? Convenience? Oh, right, that's bad 'cause then they'd be bundling software with the OS and making it difficult for inovation from third party markets... a horseshit argument to begin with but it just shows that Microsoft can't win with you people.

Microsoft isn't the problem, morons. Freedom Scientific is the problem, for rolling out their unacceptably shitty software at their unacceptably inflated prices for with unaceptably low standards. The pacMate. Right, they expect me to pay $4500 for a Pocket PC with JAWS on it and a braille display for a screen. Oh, that's assuming you don't want a modem or ethernet connuctivity or bluetooth or wireless internet or more storage (from the two flash card slots provided) than the 128 MBs of easily-corruptable memory... all of which cost hundreds of dollars more? Um, how about, NO.

An incredibly stupidly long LJ quiz

2005-09-29T22:17:50Z

This isn't as good as it could have been because it didn't register Hopium, Pinback or Wanderer, and I had to give up on a lot or say "yep... nope..." to more. But eh, whatever.

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
1) Would you wrestle splendorbug in jello? Yes. yesyesyes yeesss.
2) Does jbernoski drink? I can think of no other explanation for how the man can contain such irrational hatred.
3) Is fandomgreen in a relationship? Only with his DS. ^_^
4) Would you ever date splendorbug? Hah hah, that's very funny, bring up the first person I ever loved and ask "would you date her?" Yes. Now go away.
5) What planet should esper_lydia be from? What the... um, the planet of copping out where you don't have to answer weird questions like that.
6) Have you ever dated bandgeek315? Bahahaha! Umm... Katie, you wanna take this one?
7) If roody and bandgeek315 were spliced together, what would be its name? Katie Blasque. ...That's way cooler than Nelson.
8) Would you set up rivercityrandom and erin_chan01? ...You know, I just might. Hey, worst comes to worst it gets Jack out of his fucking house.
9) If ninja_girl_anko took over the world, who would suffer? ...everyone. O_0
10) Where did you first meet fandomgreen? The balad of shame and wasted lives, a mostly dead message board on the not dead enough network54. I don't think he has any clue who I am though.
11) Has esper_lydia dyed their hair? Probably. I don't really know her.
12) How would fiara_dracon kill esper_lydia? Umm... with words? I barely know either of htem at the moment.
13) If jbernoski took over the world, who would be happy? The Sony corporation and EA, as games would be forced to run only on Sony consoles and use the hardware to its fullest extent, but cannot have any inovation. ...Rockstar would be happy too, then.
14) Does jbernoski travel a lot? I don't think so. He might though, I don't really know.
15) If pinkbibabe and erin_chan01 were spliced together, what would it be like? ...Holy motherfucking shit. It would be awesome is what it would be. Now I need to go fantasise about it for a while.
16) What video game does rivercityrandom remind you of? Um, Rivercity Ransom, obviously, just 'cause of the name.
17) What color should esper_lydia dye their hair? I have no clue. Seriously, I'm probably the worst person to ask about that, um, ever.
18) What do you disagree with jameshoward about? Absolutely nothing whatsoever. The man is God. GOD!
19) Does jameshoward have a dog? I don't think so.
20) Is esper_lydia a nerd? Very much so. But she gets to see the RVB cast and Penny Arcade when I don't, so thigns even out.
21) How tall is paulpaulpaul? Never met him, no idea.
22) When did you last call roody? Never.
23) How long have you known jameshoward? Probably about three years, give or take. He's another one I ran into on the balad (actually Mystery Octagon Theater 3000 first) who i'm positive has no clue who I am.
24) Has paulpaulpaul been to your house/dorm? No.
25) Does ninja_girl_anko know erin_chan01? Yep.
26) If splendorbug commanded an army, who would be his/her followers? Easily led males, easily led femalse, and disgruntled teenagers.
27) Which of your friends should jameshoward go out with? jameshoward.
28) What would ninja_girl_anko give rivercityrandom for his/her birthday? Probably some form of scathing gift that is on teh tip of my brain but I can't think of right now.
29) What would you do if you found out misscaptain has a crush on you? Laugh, then die, then resurrect, then get happy, then remember she's in Scotland, then die again.
30) Is pinkbibabe dead sexy? YESSSSS.
31) If roody and paulpaulpaul were siamese twins, where would they be joined? At the brain. Somehow.
32) How many monkeys could jbernoski fight at once and win against? All of them. He would probably use napalm.
33) Does splendorbug smoke? Not that I know of. I hope not and really doubt it, the one thing that girl does not need are more chemicals and her voice sounding any worse. Two things. Shut up.
34) If erin_chan01 were hanging off a cliff, what would pinkbibabe do? Probably scream and freakout a lot.
35) Are count_5_fingers and misscaptain going out? Hahahahaahahahahaha no.
36) fiara_dracon's eye color? Why do you ask me these question? Why?
37) What would roody do differently in your shoes? Probably be a lot more responsible about various crap than me.
38) What is bandgeek315's favorite food? Probably something like everything her mother doesnt' cook.
39) What is bandgeek315's favorite band/artist? Saves the day, right?
40) What exotic animal would rivercityrandom like as a pet? At a random guess, I'd say an attack tiger.
41) What rank would ninja_girl_anko have in a giant robot army? sadistic bloodthirsty female.
42) What is count_5_fingers's favorite movie? I'm not sure, wanna answer this one yourself?
43) Is count_5_fingers popular? So it seems.
44) Is pinkbibabe friends with esper_lydia? No. ...That could be interesting.
45) Is bandgeek315 athletic? Hahahaha, no, and she's probably laughing at that harder than me.
46) Is pinkbibabe introverted or extroverted? Extraverted to everyone but me. :(
47) Which president would jbernoski be likely to idolize? Andrew Jackson. No, no no, I'm kidding. I really mean Howard Dene. ^_^
48) Does roody go to your school? No.
49) If jameshoward was a superhero, who would be his/her archnemesis? Geese Howard from King of Fighters. I dont' even have to THINK about that one.
50) What mental disorder does bandgeek315 remind you of? minor multiple personality disorder. At least, that's what she says.
51) What song/movie would you recommend to roody? Don't konw, I don't really know him well enough to recommend mcuh.
52) Where was count_5_fingers born? Juneau, probably. That right?
53) What is ninja_girl_anko's favorite game? Crap. I used to know this but frgot it. Probably Splinter Cell or something.
54) Would fiara_dracon and bandgeek315 look good together? ...Yeah.
55) Could you see fiara_dracon and bandgeek315 together? ...You motherfucker.
56) Thoughts on bandgeek315? I loooooooove her. Probably too much for my own mental health.
57) Where was erin_chan01 born? Alabama. Yech. I feel her pain, and I'm not talking about regular being born pain.
58) Did misscaptain break up with you? Er... no.
59) Do bandgeek315 and splendorbug go to the same school? No.
60) What is fiara_dracon's shoe size? No idea.
61) Is bandgeek315 related to you? I hope not!
62) Do you have count_5_fingers's screenname? Yep. It's all miiine! Okay, and hers too.
63) What comic book character would fiara_dracon be? Maryjane Watson.
64) Would count_5_fingers be a better ninja or pirate? Pirate, totally.
65) Does esper_lydia do drugs? Hahaha, thatwould explain some things--but no. At least, I dont' think so.
66) Do you have a crush on esper_lydia? Mm... not really, no. She's funny though!\
67) What languages does paulpaulpaul speak? English and Hugo.
68) misscaptain's hair color? It varries far too often.
69) Would rivercityrandom go out with fandomgreen? Well, they'd share a common interest or two... no. No no no no no.
70) How would jameshoward conquer the world? With the power of justice! And smiling! And kicking the living fuck out of evildoers! Seriously.
71) Is esper_lydia a high school student? No.
72) Is count_5_fingers an emo? Bahahaha, no.
73) What is pinkbibabe's favorite color? Pink! Right?
74) Is rivercityrandom related to pinkbibabe? Dear lord... no. No. Haha, no.
75) One quality you find attractive in ninja_girl_anko? Her ability to destroy people and not give a damn.
76) Is jbernoski single? He's a gamer, so yes. ^_^
77) Are esper_lydia and rivercityrandom married? AIEEE! NO!
78) Would ninja_girl_anko and splendorbug make a good couple? Yes the y would, and then the world would end, and it would be awesome.
79) What is misscaptain allergic to? Practically everything, unfortunately.
80) What would you do if erin_chan01 died? ...I would probably weep inconsolably for days on end.
81) Do you think count_5_fingers is hot? Yess.
82) What do you agree with ninja_girl_anko about? A lot of things, mainly that chatting on Yahoo is an endless source of hilarity.
83) What is fandomgreen's biggest flaw? Oh, jeeze. Um, that he's black? No no no, god, just kidding. Um... err, probably that he cares what people think a little too much.
84) Is misscaptain your best friend? Nah. A good one though. Er, if she ever signs on Messenger in the next forever.
85) Would you make out with pinkbibabe? Ohh yesss.
86) Does fandomgreen have a big secret? Sort of. Kind of. Er.
87) Does jbernoski have a crush on paulpaulpaul? Bwah-hah-hah! No. At least, none they're talking to me about.
88) How long would paulpaulpaul dating roody last? ...Oh, gods. Don't make me answer that question, I barely know either of them.
89) What animal does fandomgreen remind you of? Sonic the Hedgehog. Boom.
90) Have you flirted with ninja_girl_anko? Too many times to count.
91) Is fiara_dracon a college student? Yep.
92) Are jameshoward and paulpaulpaul going steady? Um... no. THey dont' even konw of each others' existence.
93) If paulpaulpaul had a superpower, what would it be? The ability to make everything make sense.
94) Is rivercityrandom 1337? Relatively, yep. For someone who uses a *mac*, baahahaha--sorry.
95) One thing you can't stand about fiara_dracon? That she won't go out with me :'(
96) Where would esper_lydia most like to visit? Where hasn't she visited that she'd most like to visit? I have no clue.
97) What animal should esper_lydia be combined with? Bah. No idea.
98) What would paulpaulpaul think of misscaptain? Probably that she was insane. But amusing.
99) What flavor of jello would roody be? ...I'm runnign out of different ways to say I don't know.
100) What word best describes bandgeek315? Awesome.

Whooooa...

2005-09-27T23:07:14Z

Hey. Hi. Wass goin' on?

So, yeah. Haven't updated in w while. This is because, as anyone who knows me should know (and that should be you if you're reading this) my life just isn't that interesting.

I have spent the weekend at a friend's house who lives an hour away, which I didn't erally get until we were in teh car so I ended up staying three days when I thought it would be just one. Oooops. While I was there, I learned three things: 1. Never have pets. 2. Never have children. 3. Never get married. With these three maxums well in mind, I shall continue through life!

Acting class today was... how do I describe it... oh hell, freaking weird.

We're all doing monologues, right? I think I have mentioned this a time or two. Well, now we're doing an excersise with them called Nwe York New York. Where, basically, people are milling around and you're doing your monologue, and you have to engage somebody's attention without MAKING them pay attention. YOur responsibility as a miller is to walk away as soon as you don't feel like it's genuine.

I am a bit of a prrfectionist. No, really--it's true. Anyway, so my problem--which the acting teacher saw through right away, was that I was paying more attention to impressing the class by showing off that I had my lines memorized than actually, uh, delivering a good performance. So after that, usually they run teh gauntlet--where you are supposed to run around the room ten times and then deliver your monologue while you're copletely out of breath and winded from the running. This, obviously, would in my case leed to the type of hilarity that is only amusing to watch if the characters are drawn. Or are Rush Limbaugh, Anne Coulter, or Michael Moore. Anyway, so they did a different excersise with me called Prison Guard. In this case, I startd off at one end of hte room and was being dragged to the other side of the room by two of the students, where I would be burnd/drowned/hung/something stereotypically bad. My job was to deliver such a stirring performance with a monologue that they had to stop and listen. (by which I mean the teacher would stop them to listen.)

...It was... strange.

I'm trying to figure out just how to describe it, because it's still a haze to me. After it was done the teacher said that whenever I started getting an upper hand I would relax and start to mess it up again, but I think really it was more a combination of me being confused as to what was going on at a few points and the fact that I was so distracted and out of my ellement I would forget huge swathes of my lines (which was the point). That being said though, I am not what my lit teacher would call an unbiased narator, so take that at face value. It was very fun, anyway, and I got a hug afterwards. :P

After that I went to lit class and um... didn't talk very much about Raymund Carver. Now i've got hoework piling up and that idiotic music class to go to in a few hours, so I will be off. Chao!

The lonesome cry of the Sony fanboy...

2005-09-20T04:07:51Z

"I don't care if PS3 doesn't have games for it in ten years. It's the only next-gen console not for fucking faggots."
--James Bernoski.

Thanks for that, Worm. Your maniacle, frothing-at-the-mouth unthinking fanatisism will ensure that the PS3 will be an underproduced un-motivated pile of shit that will be the only thing you'll ever buy in ten years even though by that time we'll have figured out how to throw much better hardware into SPACE by then. You're like a pathetic little girl with pom-poms screaming "So-ny!" You make me sick.

Waaaah!

2005-09-16T06:48:41Z

Today was a lot of the same yesterday except for two things.

1: I had three classes to deal with instead of 1, plus an online quiz.

2: my dad, as has been docuented in a previous journal entry which has subsequently been deleted, snors like a god damned muel. As a result of that, plus my new radio, and cable tV, and the afore-mentioned hitchhiker's guide DVD... I only got oh, two and a half hours sleep last night.

So I got up and we went to an IHOP. I had a stack of five chocolate chip pancakes, and hash browns with chese and unions, nnd bacon... which is currently sitting in my fridge because by the time I left i ofmgwtf AUUUUUUUU. After that I went to my acting classs and read off my monoluge from Jack and Jill--I dont' mean to brag or anything, but it was plain that I really took the whole room by surprise with my 110% intensity. Finally! I've been waiting for that chance now for almost three weeks. Bah. Anyways, so after that I talked too much at lit, and slept not enough at (bleuuuugh) music class. Then I spent a stupid amount of time messing with my GPS, getting more "points of interest" in ther eso that now I can't walk anywhere without there being 30 or more of them within a quarter of a mile, breaking my flash card, and bying a512-MB thumbdrive for $30. Anyway, now dad's gone on, and I'm left to... uh...

Weeee!

2005-09-15T05:40:39Z

Had acting again today... nothing much happened, really. One thing I Thought was neat though was that she had us explain three things about hur characters in our monologues to the person oposite us, and then had each of us take turns explaining what our characters were like. It was weird because the latter one was really a lot deeper than teh first one. ANother brain-bug-y thing weddid was near the end of class: we "stood" dignified, "felt" sexy, and "counted" some weird thing... the point of which was that we were more interesteing to watch counting something than we were teh either other two ones because that was more real. On a lighter note, my response to feeling sexy was to just stand how Inormally do; "Hey, I feel sexy all the time!"

After that I ran around town with dad, getting a new bank account set up and buying more crap--most of which is boring, but now I have some crackers, and cookies, and, oh yeah, a fridge. W00+. And an inflatable matress, but none of you care about that. Well, none of you give a damn about any of this so I don't konw why I bother, but, whatever. So ah. GOt my TV up here so now I have cable. Once again--W00+. I still need to ask about getting another chair into this room, though. That and getting my ethernet jack activated. Even cooler is that along with the cookies (given to me by my dad's girlfriend--along with Magnolia, Some Kind of Monster, my very first Metallica album (the S&M disc, which is also my favorit one ever--it got stolen by Nate-Chan, but it's the principle, dammit), the Breakfast Club, the Evanescence concert set, Chasing Amy, Spiderman I (collector's) and II...) I got the Hitchhiker's Guide movie DVD. Up yours, biotches. ...Seriously, my dad's girlfriend is like, teh absolute coolest person ever. She makes me feel bad just by existing because she gives me so much crap for like no reason at all. It's absolutely insane. Oh, one more thing--I've gotten ahold of one song by Placebo. I think I like 'em.

go GO GOGO!

2005-09-14T06:09:52Z

Woooo things are getting insanely busy. Okay, so, my dad's coming up to visit for hte next couple of days--so I'm getting all my stuff done early. So I jsut spent hours reviewing one chapter and reading through a whole second one, trying to get Access Bridge installed even though it seems to hate me and won't download,so that I can chat with my discussion group, writing two or three opinion papers... and I haven't even done my lit class stuff yet. >_< Other than that, hmm...

Acting was a lot of fun today, despite the fact taht I was a tad late--again, GRR. We did a fun little improv game today where we both picked up a random object from a grab-bag, were instructed to go to a specific part of hte stage (it was up to us to figure out what up-stage left was, which was the point of hte excersise) and then try and use that part of the stage to sell it. I got a smallish box that was taped shut and was too heavy to be just empty; before me had been a small box and a snow globe. "Hi!" I said in my best mock hustler voice (which is really funny, no really, it is, just trust meon this one guys) "I know you've all hread of the big snowglobe and the little box, but have any of you ever considered the possibilities in... the medium-sized box?!? It's got all the benefits of the small and large box put together! Where you can store anything inside it that's not big! Or small! By it today for $19.99, plus $386473965.35 for postage and packing, since we get these boxes all the way from Alpha Centori!" Later I reflected it would have been more amusing if I had expounded on teh aesthetic beauty of having abox full of things you can't identify as it's taped shut, but alass I did not think of it in time. Ah well, it was a lot of fun to do and watch, anyway.

Lit was pretty cool too, we talked a lot about Earnest Hemingway's _Soldier's Home_ and Faith somebody's something linking the assassination of archduke Frank Ferdinan to her lovelife. Erm.

Music was... errr... music class. Not much I can say about that. More of hte same, really, althoug hnow I have tactile pictures of variosu notes on the musical staff--so I won't fail my class after all! Ex-celleeent!

Yup... thatt'll about do it for this update. Stay tuned, folks! Or not, who am i kidding. You probably just got this page from doing a google search on "aesthetic dad Sentorai soldier." You suck. Idiot.

Blah.

2005-09-13T05:24:40Z

Today was... annoying.

Got up at 11:00 in teh morning for my class at 11:30, spent 35 minutes struggling with my printer to print a monologue for it (becasue if I know myself I konw that I will forget a solitary piece of paper with ridiculous ease if I do not have it in my hands at all times) and had to wait another ten minutes waiting for hte bus that took another five to get to the building and then spent another two getting to class. Aiiiaugh. Anyway, fortuantely I didn't seem to miss much, except I need to put a HEADER ON IT. FOrtunately I don't appear to be the only person who made that blunderbus of a [Dick Gebheart] miserable failure [/Dick Gebheart] so I can at least wollow in misery with other people for a while. After that I went back to my dorm, deleted the hundred or so messages I'd gotten since my subscription to the Braille Note user list (many of which were quite foolish), then got wasted.

Actually, I lie.

I did, however, hang around the proximity of people who were getting wasted, at which point I sat through blah blah goes to White Castle (horrible), sat around watching That '70's Show for an hour waiting for food to arive (I had two boxes of fries, yippee) and got taken back in teh middle of Titanic (also awful), fifteen inutes too early to catch teh dessert menu opening up in teh cafeteria. Now I've got to delete more eail, troll these morons some more, check out this very distrubing "rent my daughter" website, eat somegoddamned food and, oh yeah, read a short story for English class tomorrow.

Maybe it's time for an upgrade?

2005-09-12T08:33:12Z

http://phonearena.com/htmls/compare2.php?compare%5B%5D=1232&compare%5B%5D=692

Son of a bitch, I'm already obscolescent. I--I oculd have been with ACS! I could have bypassed Celular fucking One entirely! NOOOOOO!

And annnOTHA thing!

2005-09-11T03:39:03Z

I now have sSkype Any readers of this, my name on there is AllenMockery. Please do that thing where you do the clickity clack of hte keys and the adding of the names, if'n it please you.

My motivation to troll the SOADfans.net message boards

2005-09-11T03:37:30Z

Good evening, fellow viewers. As a few of you might have started to notice by now, I am a bastard. I am not an asshole--I am a bastard. There's a difference.

About a week ago, I was looking around the SOADfans.net website scoring some System of a Down concert downloads and things when I saw this thread about a newspaper article. In that newspaper article, this very annoying dad made an extremely scathing review of "bonding the musical gaps" between father and son. I won't go into the details here except that he has this truly astonishing disdain for basically every kind of music that has been made ever since 1980, and by astonishing, I mean very disappointing coming from the context that the type of music this guy liked as a kid was, wait for it, Hendrics and the Stones. I mean... the dude could not have gone to one of those concert without being stoned off his ass, and here he is refering to SOAD fans--as a whole--as "drugged-up greasers of the worst kind." Which, yaknow, is really selling druggies' propencity for badness short in my opinion. So this was a very stupid and very ill-informed and very insulting and above all else very snooty gods-damned newspaper article. We can agree, on that.

However, the reaction of the people reading was... slightly unbalanced. They started writing letters to the editor, that no one could take seriously, and I know that at least one of them wanted to get the guy fired. I mean, we've all entertained notions of doing that but--come on. Really. We don't want that. So I attempted, in my usual way, to correct the error of their ways...

Well, it didn't work out too well. The thing about SOAD fans is that, well, a lot of them are drugged-up greasers of the worst kind. Yes, I said it you giant baskets of inflated self-worth, anyone who's going to use "yo" and refer to someone as "da shit" on the fucking internet with no trace of sarcasm is a sad, sad man, and deserves to be lambasted... everywhere, really.

But that night was the night I read about all this crazy shit going down in New Orleans, and I thought jesus, while I'm having a stupid mudslinging contest on an internet message board, people are getting raped and murdered on a horrifying scale, right in my own country. So after that I really didn't have the haart to continue. (I did, however, ban myself from Game FAQs, a deliberate choice I have yet to start regretting in any form whatsoever.)

SO, that was the end of it. Hey, I've got a life. No, really--I do. Anyway, so I just hadn't really gotten the impatous to go back... until, I had this charming little conversation with one of the people I was yelling at, who has inexplicably decided to add himself to my AIM and MSN, and then not talk to me.

It's really quite endearing and delightful... well... let me read it for you!

*** Begin session

Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:15:07 [Drew, the Silver Stud] ...Which one are you?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:15:30 [Eli] your fuckin dad that who

Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:17:26 [Drew, the Silver Stud] O... kay.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:17:52 [Drew, the Silver Stud] You owe me $150000 in backed up child support payments. Cough up, bitch.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:18:36 [Eli] haha your a bastard maybe thats why your such a dick

Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:19:51 [Drew, the Silver Stud] ctually, my problem is that I suffer from too-many-dads-itous.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 05:22:50 [Drew, the Silver Stud] So anyway, was there any particular reason why you added me other than to cuss me out at random moments?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:56:19 [Eli] pretty much

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:56:35 [Eli] i really dont like your atitude for the other soad fans

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:57:04 [Drew, the Silver Stud] What's wrong wit hit?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:57:40 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I didn't like what they were doing, and said so.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:57:50 [Eli] just please dont have rude comments against the others, i will not bother u if u complie

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:58:24 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I'm not the one who said I went down on horse cock or whatever those foolish insults were taht I've already forgotten becasue they were stupid.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:59:09 [Eli] because u pissed me off going against the others who didnt do or say anything wrong

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:59:37 [Eli] yea what i said was dumb but u 'started it'

Saturday, 10 September 2005 06:59:41 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I don't really think I could have said what I said any other way. I thought that what they were doing was wrong, and it was giving fans of SOAD a bad name becasue they were trying to do it in teh name of SOAD or some similar foolishness.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:00:02 [Drew, the Silver Stud] WHich poster were you?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:00:06 [Eli] it was not stupid

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:00:47 [Eli] it is the rights of united states to have activism

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:00:58 [Eli] of united states people*

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:01:09 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Half of them wanted to get the guy fired for daring to write something they disagree with, and the other half wanted to talk to the author but couldn't so they were settling for talking to the editor, which is... pointless.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:02:01 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Just becasue you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:02:19 [Eli] not really, letting someone know of this is not pointless, and most of the people u had rude comments about didnt say anything wrong

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:02:41 [Eli] o you really know soad dont u

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:02:55 [Eli] they encourage stuff like that

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:03:17 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Letting them know what "I was insulted"? I mean, pretend you're the editor and you receive an email from someone saying that they didn't like being slagged in an article someone else posted. What can you do about it?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:03:48 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Encourage what? Trying to get people fired because they wrote an opinion? I dont' think so.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:03:54 [Eli] what ever just dont go against inocent people who should be your friends

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:04:08 [Eli] they encourage ACTIVISM

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:04:23 [Eli] serj has a fukin activism organization

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:04:50 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I think eh people I was rudist to were the ones that weren't even saying anything. I mean, really--if oyu're going to take the time to post on a message board you could at least make it worth something. I get annoyed really badly when people do that.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:05:20 [Drew, the Silver Stud] They encourage acvtivism. Not random activism.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:05:36 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Crap like that is what gives activism a bad name. Hair-trigger activism.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:05:41 [Eli] what ever, just keep your opinions to yourself that u so want others to do

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:06:04 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I never said they should keep their opinions to themselves. I don't want that.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:06:38 [Drew, the Silver Stud] In fact, I was actively encouraging people send in stuff to be included in the "letters to the editor" collumn of the newspaper.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:06:38 [Eli] everyone there is gonna be people with opinions like that so why fight it

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:07:04 [Eli] i get pissed off with people think they are btter than everyone else

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:07:12 [Drew, the Silver Stud] That's the logical way to do that. That's why they have letters to the editor, so that the public can speak regarding stuff they're read and have it given equal space on the page.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:07:40 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Because it's what I do. When someone's doing something dumb I feel the need to point it out.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:07:59 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Especially when it has the possibility of reflecting badly on me.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:07:59 [Eli] well your just a asshole i get it

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:08:13 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Am I the biggest asshole?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:08:25 [Eli] yes u are

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:08:30 [Eli] i was an asshole to u

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:08:44 [Eli] u were being one to a group of people

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:09:52 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I'll kill your rock 'n roll.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:10:02 [Eli] huh huh

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:10:42 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Well, it's kind of hard to say "you're acting like idiots" any other way than "you're acting like idiots."

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:11:06 [Eli] fuck of

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:11:06 [Eli] f

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:11:20 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Hey, I'm trying to be civil here.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:11:31 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I've been extraordinarily civil, I feel, thorughout htis entire conversation.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:12:10 [Eli] what eevr i dont feel like discussing it anymore

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:12:49 [Drew, the Silver Stud] For the record, I stopped posting in that thread becasue I read news of what was going on in New Orleans, and I felt like crap for carrying on like that while people were shooting each other in one corner of my own country, so I just let it slide there.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:12:58 [Drew, the Silver Stud] ...So you tell me to fuck off?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:13:15 [Drew, the Silver Stud] That's not very polite of you. And after you've been telling me to be nicer, too.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:13:23 [Eli] thats right FUCK OFF

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:13:39 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Way to be hipocritical.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:14:09 [Eli] guess so

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:14:10 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I'm just starting to think you might have half a brain and then you pull this garbage. "fuck off" indeed.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:14:33 [Eli] dude go away

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:14:40 [Eli] i have the last word

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:14:52 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I mean, if you can't even take the effort to be nice to someone while you're telling that person to be nice, what's the bloody point?

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:15:08 [Drew, the Silver Stud] "Fucking cockwipe--you need to be nicer! Fucknugget!"

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:15:23 [Drew, the Silver Stud] That doesn't really work, erm, everywhere.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:15:30 [Eli] ooooooooooo i a fuck nugget

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:15:52 [Drew, the Silver Stud] Er, no, I wasn't talking to you, I was ipersonating you.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:17:01 [Drew, the Silver Stud] In fact, thanks to this conversation, I've decided to be a more frequent poster on the boards.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:17:19 [Drew, the Silver Stud] I could have gone the rest of my life withotu ever coming back, too.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:17:45 [Drew, the Silver Stud] But nope, now you'll jsut have to deal with me being smarter than you at you. GG.

Saturday, 10 September 2005 07:18:52 [Eli] has changed his(her) status to Offline

*** End session

The only thing I can add to that that I haven't already said, is that the dude is still signed into AIM.

So... hi.

2005-09-10T04:21:17Z

I was going to update yesterday, but I didn't. I was going to update two days ago, but, I didn't. SO, I'm updating today. Hooah.

Wednesday--the only class I had was acting. W00+. I got totally psyched up to do my monologue, then got told we were doing it the next day. Said next day we uh... sat around on mats and talked about our monologue selections. Uh, I don't mean to be a heel here, but it's two weeks into the college semester... aren't we going to, uh, act at some point?

The other classes are really boring; lit is lit and plain, and the music class is continuing to suck all that is ass. On the other hand, I've got a note-taker who recognizes just as much as I do--the result being that she turned me into the jackass sniggering to his buddy in the back.

Two days ago, I ran into Jamie. So, apparently, this totally awesome ch1ck was living in my town and knew me in Elementary school who's frends with Erin and Megan and NO ONE TOLD ME! God, you people, what the hell is wrong with you? Megan, I'm looking at you. Hmmhm? You reading this? YOU SUCK. I HATE YOU. And call me tonight, you sexy you. 738-2492 Yeah, that's right all you bastards, you call me too. I'm desperate for love! ...ANyway. So anyway, she'd apparently been looking for me--yes, ME--ever since she got to campus, and just ran into me this Wednesday. This confuses me. See, I am, yes, a most itroverted person. I go to classes, and I go to dinner. On very very occasion, I got oo (gasp) lunch. Then I spend the rest of my time held up in my room, starting fights on message boards and chatting on instant messenger with various internet celebrities--or, at least, as close to celebrities as I consider getting. Anyway, so I don't make many campus appearances. However... well... every one I make is... kind of hard to miss. First of all: I'm blind. That alone makes me stick out. I have weird eyes and a big stick. That makes me stick out like a thumb with a bleeding papercut right off the bat. But it's not as though I go to any lengths to hide or anything. Far from it--everywhere I go I'm drumming, singing, quoting lines from Red VS. Buue to myself and generally making all the heads turn and the ladies swoon and yadda yadda yadda. Really, it would be hard for me to draw any more attention to myself without compellign someone to call the police. So how she could spend a week and a half looking for e and not having even the vaguest idea of where to find me until she plopped right down next to me is... well, it's somewhat bizzarre. But I digress, as I often do.

Today was spent, uh, going to the arts building prepared to murder a druset, only to be told that I'm not allowed to use it unless I'm taking drum lessons, and failing to go to a meeting of Theater on the Rocks because I couldn't find the green room and instead... Hanging around in teh lobby, and being accosted by a small child. At which point I said cheerfully, "I hate small children!" loudly. In front of hte small child's mother. And then left, whistling.

Then I went and, uh, looked for more mischief to start.

Eh, it wasn't a total loss; I did spend a couple hours playing the entirity of System ofa Down's _Mezmerize_ on the piano. That was seriously too much fun.

What... the... f.?

2005-09-06T12:36:18Z

So tired... yet so elated. I'm probably going to delete this entry int he morning, I know I'm gonna wake up and feel like such an idiot. Whatever, I don't care.

I've just spent the last... God... almost twenty hours straight, listening to one of the BBC HitchHiker's Guide episodes. They go all the way, through 1... through 5... and take a stopoff around the middle to make up a whole bunch of crap about shoe salesmen, clones, fake marriage license salesmen and giant birds evolved from beings who couldn't stand to rebel agaisnt their molevolant machinery taskmasters because they were just os damn nice all the time.

I had never gotten around to reading So Long before, so that experience was brand new--and somewhat bittersweet; the brief moments of happyness, tempered by what I knew was coming next--the big brick wall of Mostly Harmless. This is the dead end, fellas--the witt's end of HHGTTG. This is where you drop your magazine, and get your one last lousy point. Lots of "fans" despise and hate this installment, primarily because it's not fun. And of course, they're right. However, many of htese peole are the types of peopel who will never, ever appreciate masterpieces of film such as the Sweet Hereafter, Donnie Darko, and Magnolia. Why? SImple--it's depressing! Because Lord knows that if anything can be good it has to be trite, well-established and terribly predictable from the start, right. Anyway, as a work of literature I quite liked it--though I, like everyone else, was a bit... flummuxed at hte ending, as I'd only read it once, when I was about 12, and suspected what it meant but wasn't actually sure if it was supposed to be written taht way. I didn't want to believe it--I was simply left with no other alternative. I'd always wanted to go back to it as it's considerably deeper than, really, anything else Adams has ever written--it ditches trying to be funny, instead trying to make you think. Unfortunately, I had read this when I was, as I mentioned, 12, and as such had very little concept of literary subtext. It had always been a back-burner "project" of mine, to get back to that thing and give it a really good, thorough reading. Well, this radio play gave me another way to do that, so I listened to it instead--a lot of it is pretty faithful to what I remembered about the book, only with a few camios of Zaphod--and there can never be too many cammios of Zaphod, you know? ANyway, so I got to the end... you konw, when it all happens (TM)... And all the sound faded out to music, and I was curious, was the BBC going to just end it like that? It was really abrupt, and I wasn't sure if the producers would be willing to leave it at dialogue cut off by a (comparatively small-sounding) explosion. As it turned out... they didn't. No--instead, an entire new five-minute section was added. What's in it? Well, I'll skim over it--suffice it to say that the bable fish turns out ot be about as smart as he dolphins, and knows < SPOILER > a planet going bang < / SPOILER > when it senses one with its creepy... little... sensy... thingies. So, it finds ways of bridging the gap between universes, and moves itslef the hell out of the ter. THe difference being that it brings along for hte ride anyone else who interfaced with it. So, Arthur, both Trillians, (which really makes no sense now that I think about it) and Ford meet up with the dolphins at play, and Fenchurch, and a newly-replaced-thanks-to-warrany professional carpark-washing babe Marvin, at the restauran tat the end of the universe. The annalytical part of my brain is screaming at me thigns like BULLSHIT! and COPOUT! and THAT'S SUCH A FUCKING BANDAID IT DOESN'T EVEN REALLY WORK! ...But hte rest of me doesnt' give a shit. I don't know--maybe its' the sleep deprivation, maybe it's just 'cause it's fucking over, maybe its' 'casue I just don't want to go to sleep depressed so I'm happy about that, probably it's becasue I'm a pathetic ceaselessly hopeless romantic, but ht epoint is, at least right now, I absolutely love it to death. I'm probably gonna hate it the next time I hear it, I'll see all the flaws and recognize exactly why it was written--afraid of pissing off too many people with all the characters dying, lousy cow-towing bastards--but for right now, I don't car. I'm laughing my head off and I'mm crying--this never happens. I've cried sadly at movies before--every time in the aforementioned Magnolia and Donnie Darko, sometimes (though not often) Chasing Amy--but never laughed like that at the same time. I don't know... it's, again, probably just the fact that I've been up so stupidly long listening to this damn thing and I haven't eaten very much today. Ah hell with it. I need to stop making excuses for things I do that seem stupid to other people, dammit. That's really my problem, I have to feel like there's a reason that makes sense for everything I do. I can't just do something spontaneously else I'll feel like a jackass. Why do I care? Seriosuly, why the fuck do I care? I'm blind. They don't say anything, I can't see them staring at me liek I've just sprouted a third arm from my forehead even if I know that's exactly what they're doing--so it shoudl be easy to ignore. But i just can't... let go like that? What's up with that, man? Why do I care about people? There's no reason for it. Look at the things--the God DAMNED THINGS people do today--to lower life forms, to other people, to better people, but most especailly ot themselves. What's wrong wit hthis super self-distructive hiway to hell society we've gotten into in this day and age when people can turn themselves inside out with sex drugs and violence right in plain sight on a back-alley street and people will jsut shake their heads and mutter "What a world!" God, it's so pathetic, the stupid apathy that's taken ahold of what I feel like is my entire generation of self-absorbed worthless pricks who walk around like they've got somethign to prove. Well I've got news for oyu, it's somethign they don't like to teach you in school--not htat you ever listened--you've got just as long as I have to walk around this greasy little planet, and then it goes up, just like that. Except I'll be living longer than you--why? Because I am smarter than you are. You'll be dead at 25 overdosing from five different things bleeding out at the eyes with no one giving two shits about you, and I'll be sipping coke hapily contemplating the next three or four or five decades I've got left to enjoy what's left to enjoy on this rock. I'm not an interstellar traveler--I don't have the infinity of hte universe to explore, or time to jaunt backwards and forwards to do it in. And you look around you, everyone will tell you, this planet of ours aint that great. But we make due with what we've got--what i've got is music. So I'm gonna have fun doing that. So why I should care about other people, I honestly don't know. You tell me one reason why I should give a damn about people after watching them fall over themselves to cause as much damage to everything as possible before they die, and tell me, why I should care what they do? They're desperate, crying for attention--well there's more than one way to get attention, and even if you get people to remember you after your dead... congratulations. If you've done it through violence, you've succeeded in makign a whole lot of people miserable and despising absolutely everything about you for the purposes of remembering your name after your dead, which makes no difference to you because just in case you forgot... YOU'RE DEAD, ASS HOLE! When our society can produce dregs who actually think that people remembering their names because of the killing rampages they went on will make a shit of difference to them after they've committed suicide surrounded by corrupt police officers, where this won't actually work because no one can actually concentrate on any one thing longer than a few weeks before htey get bored and think of other topics of discussion--and it doens't matter what it is anymore, UFOs or something say--where ignorant upstart fucks like RUsh Limbaugh and Anne Coulter can run their mouths off and not only not be shot for terminal stupidity but actually get elevated onto talk shows, media circuits, actually given their own shows so that htey can spread their subhuman trash to influence more minds towards their retarded way of thinking, where a hurricane can send a city into anarchy when the very lazy National Guard who is meant to be kept in reserve for jsut this sort of serious occurence is halfway across the globe fighting someone else's war that has already been proclaimed "over" more than a year ago whilst the cowards back home who will not be seen anywhere near ground zero blame it on the local police for refusing to get their asses shot off in a useless situation, where hundreds of thousands of people die daily across the world from starvation, disease, starvation and diseases that are curable today by modern science where the largest superpowers in the world tries to convince the rest of th world--and itself--that the solutions to these problems in the oh-so constantly-touted freest country in the history of the world include precluding the right of a preculding the right to privacy so long as the government says they think you might be a terrorist, taking away my constitutionally-guarantied right to defend my fredoms with whatever firearms I choose, making it illegal for a woman to choose to not carry a parasite to term, make it illegal to use completely safe controled substances, make it illegal to marry the person I choose just because that person happens to be the same gender as me, and making it illegal to humanely end the lives of those suffering needlessly who beg constantly for the sweet embrace of eternal sleep--in a stinking, disgusting, pathetic society like this with all of its contradictions and hipocracies piled on top of each other, give me one reason why I should spare even the slightest bit of thought of what other people decide to do with their lives, or what they think of what I'm doing with mine? I don't know... yet... I... do. When I see someone destroying their life I fly into the most incredible rages, more towering and wrathful than anything I've ever put in this "lame blog"--even if it's somebody I barely ever knew anythign about and it has nothing, whatsoever, to do with me. Which is of course what they invariably say back--leave me alone! It's not your business what I do with my life! Well, yes. YOu're right. I'm ever so fucking sorry i'm human, you bitch. So go on and stuff yourself with cocks while you're waiting at the bus station. Doesn't make a single bit of difference to me. Except... it does. I honestly wish it didn't. I wish I could just turn that bit of me off, because it's so completely useless wasting time fretting about people who are never going to change for you or anyone no matter what you say or whether it's a good idea or not. This is the kind of stuff that most of the peopel who read books like Hitchhiker's don't want to read. I love it. Why? Becasue it's real. Douglas Adams isn't writing these kinds of thigns just 'cause he's bored, you know. He's doing it because he's got a point. Anything tha tgets popular eventually turns intoa machine--a dull, plodding, stupid, but very shiny machine. It's when you peal back that layer of shinyness, of course, that everything falls apart--but hey, it sure looked nice while it lasted. Because that's all that matters to the peopel that matter--making things look just good enough for just long enough.

And now, ladies and gentlemen: your moment of Zen.

2005-09-03T21:00:37Z

What kind of deranged person pours water over a person while they're pretending to hang imaginary socks on a fire escape? says: want to read some philosophical musings?
Drew, the Silver Stud says: No, I'm busy reading a gaming magazine.

What's shakin'?

2005-09-01T01:59:33Z

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I'm sure all you fine fellows are frothing with expectation at this thing wondering when I'm going to update. "Come on, Drew!" I can hear your small, gnattering voices whining against hte glass, "Update your journal! Please! We have no lives and so want ot be taken in by reading about yours! Also, we're single and very attractive females in teh city of Anchorage who can understand the humor behind Catch-22, *wink wink*." Well rest assured, my <A HREF="http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail127.html:>a hundred and 27, Hot Katies</A> (Especially you, Katie 80)... where was I? Oh, right, myself! Well, yeah, stuff's been going on. The hard part has been separating that into "journal-worthy stuff" and "not-journal worthy stuff." I could write here about my experience waiting for hte bus at the wrong stop or walking through the lunch line at the cafeteria nad eating terrible food and getting the wrong person's number stuck in my phone's address book, but I can already see with these nonfunctional eyes of mine as you collectively look at the clock and yawn. So, I won't be writing about t hose kidns of things. THe quesiton then becomes: "Well then what do you write about, Drew, you smarmy bastard? Also, I've been living with you for 199 years and ave come to hate and detest everything about you." Well, that's a very good quesiton, other half of me! So, yeah, that's why I haven't been sprinting up to my dorm room with the intensity of a 12-year-old who's about to miss a Counter-Strike match. (I woudl say a big counter-strike match, but that would be redundant, as all counter-strike matches are big counter-strike matches. To these people, I mean. By which I mean losers.) But, I'll just post a few interesting little detailies from my classes or what-have-you, and try not to bore you too much. That way my next few entries will have the appropriate contexts already in place so "where do I start?" doesn't become such an all-consuming burningquestio of mine. Ready? Okay!

My acting class... rules. Any of you who've been at SFAC... Well, theacting teacher is like Sharon. Not as funny, but tht kind of energy. It's great. Really great. There's a TA in there too who's a lot like that, also. t;;;;NS ARE A TAD STRAINED BECAUSE SHE'S, WELL, NOT AS COMFORTABLE WITH ME AS OTHER TEACHERS I've been with have been--but that's okay, I think, as long as I show her I'm serious about what I'm doing... Of course, that's why the first two assignments necesitate me finding monologues from plays I can't read and watching a show I have no way of getting to. Namely: because God hates me. Also, I'm supposed to take a jounrla for that class, so there's another good excuse to update this thing all the damn time.

English--we read a nice short story which I can't remember by an author I can't remember, which is a travesty, because it was very good. I think it was called Evolyne--it was the name of the main character, and the author I really cna't belive I'm forgetting all of this, I'd never heard of him before but he's really good. We got some good discussion going on that, too. I think I'm really gonna injoy that class... and my teacher knows what <A HREF="http://www.ifiction.org">IF</A> is, which is cool, and doesn't seem to know that it exists otehr than as an interesting footnote of the '80s, which means I get to edumacate a college professor--which is just bad ass. My personal hilight of the class, though, was the following:

Teacher: Stephen?
Stephen: [almost but not quite menacing] I go by Ryan. I dont' answer to Stephen too quickly.

Oookay, dude.

Intro to Mass Comuniaction--my web class, which means I get to blow it off most of hte week! YAY! There are fifty people signed up... almost all of which are girls. Figures, teh one class that has lots of girls in it is the one where I don't see any of them and most of htem are from Idaho. Psh. Whatever, I had no idea that introduction to mass communication was that interesting a subject to... well... anyone really, but apparently it is. So go me, I guess, or something. Yeah. Hey, if any techie-minded people can download Access Bridge for me, please send it--whenever Itry to download it from the java wesite is says the zip is corrupted. That's getting really quite old now.

Music... ugh. It's theory. Look--I know theory. Okay? I know what a heedemisemiquaver is. I know what 3-4, 6-8, or what have oyu time means. I know what creshendoes and legados <A HREF="http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.37.html">and... arpejios and... tremelos...</A> are. Okay? "I konw all that stuff." BUt of course I can't actually, er, write it down. "What's a quarter note?" "Uh... er... it looks... pretty much like a quarter note, chief." I'll tell you what's worse though. You wanna know what our first class consisted of? Oki doki, I'll tell you. It consisted of him playing a note on the piano, us playing htat note on--get this--RECORDERS, and then us telling him which of two notes was high or low. I am not making this up. A college music class! I' paying for this bullshit? Giah! Okay, I'm sure--I'm *SURE* there was more to that class. I just wouldn't know, because I spent the rest of it SLEEPING.

So, that's it, in a nutshell. I have three classes Tuesday-THursday, and one class Monday-Wednesday. How's that for balance? Actually I only have two classes tomorrow and no classes after that 'till Thursday because MOnday and Tuesday is labor day and Friday I just don't ahve any classes 'cause I'm like, totally badass that way. So, yeah, any Anchoragites who read this, gimme a call and get me the hell outta here, huh?

Okay, I've wasted enough tie on this, I should go down to dinner now. Maybe. Or maybe in a half an hour. Something.

Giggity giggity giggity gee!

2005-08-29T15:51:10Z

Okay... today... first day of classes... first day of college. I'm jazzed. I'm excited I'm nervous I'm holy crap I'm staying and mom's leaving and i've got a room of my room and aaaaahhhahaiaiaaa... ahem. Interesting synchronicity: the Breakfast Club came on AMC last night. Crazy. I did a monalogue from that movie in drama last year, it was good too. Oh, one more thing--my mom and I were watching the news this morning, and the reporter was talking about the storm still managing to reak havvoc on teh coast... at which my mom said "I thought he was going to say 'his hair.'" Yay varilly, truly these are the end of times. Repent! REPENT!

Odd musical entry.

2005-08-29T03:16:56Z

So, I spent all day getting stuff moved into my room. But that's dullsville city, so instead i'm going to talk to you about TGIF's. This is a great restaurant, but I'm not using this entry to talk tbout hte food, either. No... the music. The music playing in that restaurant is ridiculously, almost suspiciously good. When we sat down to wait we heard... ...aggh, what was it? Crap, now i forgot what it was. It was a '70s tune if I remember correctly, and it was a really fun one--it reminds me of college for some reason. Crap, now that's gonna bug me for the rest of the week. Anyway, other that that we heard a Beatles song, Rock 'N Roll by Zeplin, one of the two good Guns and Roses songs, Le Grange by ZZ Top, Magic Man by Heart, and George Thurowgood... guess. "We think you suck, loser internet blogger guy, and don't care to guess on your equally stupid blog that you stupidly blog with. Also, we have no idea who George Thurrogood is, even though we do consider ourselves, like Terminator, BAD TO THE BONE." --the internet.)